“I’m abiggirl,” Leni corrected her.
“Oops, sorry.” Courtney put Leni down, then she ran off again.
Courtney brightened. “Jules, guess what, Bennie says I still have a job and they’re going to let me job share if I want. They knew they’d look like jerks if they fired me now.”
“That’s wonderful.”
Gianluca smiled. “It was fast, too.”
“Right?” Courtney’s eyes lit up. “I think Bennie roughed them up.”
Julia’s gaze fell on the bronze urn of Kay’s ashes, which sat atop the kitchen table. Her head pounded, and she swallowed hard, flashing on the vision at the funeral home.
“Okay, here goes,” Courtney said, picking up the urn. “Let’s go out to the garden.”
Julia stood with Gianluca while Leni ran off to play underneath a tree, and Courtney was next to Paul, holding the urn. Sunshine flooded the garden, which was filled with pink primroses just beginning to bloom and peonies with their green buds still tight-fisted, as if holding their secrets. The air smelled fresh and green, with the hint of a milder spring. Tall brush and grasses rippled across the pasture toward them.
Julia’s head ached, and she felt newly uneasy, but she had no idea why.
“I should say a few words.” Courtney cleared her throat. “It’s a funny thing, but everybody talks about how much grandmothers love their grandkids, but you don’t hear about how much grandchildren love their grandmothers. Grandma Kay was my bestie, and I could see in my mother all the goodness that came fromhermother.”
Tears filled Courtney’s eyes, but she stood tall. “Grandma Kay always said that women were stronger than they knew. She always told me that I could do whatever I wanted to do. She lived her own words, moving here and farming with my grandfather, and she loved this land and this country. She always said to me, ‘Don’t let anybody tell you that you don’t belong here,’ and when I think about it now, that was so brave of her, because nobody around her was telling that to a little Black girl from South Carolina.”
Courtney’s lower lip trembled. “I loved her very much. She was the most wonderful woman I ever met. She nurtured everybody and everything in her life, and her garden is all about that, so I’m very honored to return her to the earth that she cultivated with her own hands.” Courtney started to cry as she walked along the rows, bending low to bury the ashes and her note in the soil. “I love you, Grandma Kay, and I will always love you.”
Julia’s heart went out to Courtney, who sniffled, wiped her eyes, and returned the lid to the urn.
“I’m not going to say goodbye to you, Grandma Kay, because I know you’ll always be with me, watching me from wherever you are, and loving me just as much as I love you.” Courtney hugged Paul, and he held her until her sniffles subsided.
Gianluca blinked tears from his dark lashes and placed an arm around Julia. The two of them went to Courtney, and Gianluca gave her a big hug. “Courtney, you have my deepest sympathies. Your grandmother Kay sounds like mynonnaon my father’s side. Strong and good, from Abruzzo.”
“Thank you.” Courtney sighed, holding the empty urn and wiping the last of her tears from her cheeks.
“I’m so sorry.” Julia rubbed Courtney’s back. Suddenly she found herself turning toward the house, and her gaze strayed to the window in Kay’s bedroom. She didn’t know why she was looking in that direction. She hadn’t been thinking about the house or the bedroom. She felt strangely as if she weren’t in control of her own body.
Courtney handed Paul the urn. “I hope I did her justice.”
“You did, honey.”
“Thanks.” Courtney straightened, managing a smile for Julia and Gianluca. “Thanks for being a part of this, guys. I really appreciate it. I guess we should probably go upstairs and look through her things. There’s some jewelry I don’t want to leave behind. Julia, will you come with me?”
“Yes, of course,” Julia heard herself answer.
Rather, the words came out of her mouth.
But she wasn’t sure who was saying them.
Or why.
68
Julia entered the bedroom behind Courtney, looking around. There was nothing odd here, and she didn’t know if she’d get a vision, or why, nor did she know if she welcomed or dreaded one. The room was the way they’d left it, with the mattress askew and yellow coverlet on the floor. The dresser drawers hung open, and Kay’s clothes lay on the rug amid toiletries and a broken bottle of perfume, its floral scent faintly wreathing the air.
Courtney puckered her lower lip. “Jules, you’re so nice to do this.”
“Of course, honey.” Julia answered, realizing she was speaking as herself again, which she couldn’t explain.
“The main thing is the jewelry. I don’t want to leave anything here that has sentimental value. I’m not ready to pack up the house just yet. We’ll come back with boxes and do it later.” Courtney crossed to the black-lacquered jewelry box, which still lay on its side atop the bureau, its contents scattered. “Now that we’re alone, we can catch up. I had a great talk with Paul for, like, the first time in a longtime. I think we needed to sit down and talk. We decided to go to counseling.”
