She’d stopped keeping track of the passing of time long ago, before she reached twenty, although she had to be closer to thirty by now if she made a guess.
Which she wasn't really interested in doing.
When the real world had grown too horrific to handle, and her constant attempts at escape were beaten out of her, she’d found her safe place.
Deep inside her mind was a special place where she liked to hide. Nothing could touch her when she was hidden away in there. Not only was it safe, but it was filled with only good things, the opposite of her real life.
In there, she found warmth and comfort, shooting stars and sparkly lights, soft pillows and snuggly blankets, and magical animals who talked to her and kept her company. Remnants of her old life, her friends and family, the home she’d lived in, they existed in there too.
Since so many years had passed, Maya was no longer sure how much of what she remembered was true and how much she’d simply made up along the way. If you’d asked her at fourteen whether it was possible to forget her mom and dad, her big brother and little brother, her best friend who lived next door and was more like a sister, her school, and the house she lived in, she would have given an emphatic no.
Then again, how could she ever have foreseen her life would turn out like this?
One moment of distraction while out at the mall with her friend, and her life was effectively over.
Maybe her body was still alive, but her mind was long since fractured.
Broken into a million pieces, all of them too small to put back together. Even if it were possible to put them back together, they wouldn't make the same picture they used to.
How could they?
No longer was she a sweet fourteen-year-old child with big dreams about what her life was going to look like. She would marry the boy in her class she’d had a crush on since they werenine, and they’d have two children, a boy and a girl. She was going to be an architect and an artist, that way she could use both her skills, her ability to draw, and her mathematical mind, and she’d live happily ever after.
Reality was nothing like those long-ago dreams.
Faraway sounds caught her attention, but they quickly faded.
Noises held no interest for her. She didn't care what was happening around her so long as she clung to enough consciousness to follow the rules.
Rules were important.
Rules kept you alive.
Obeying them anyway.
Disobeying them led to punishments that were nothing like the ones her parents would give to her and her brothers the few times they acted up. Being grounded, or having her phone taken away, missing out on dessert, or having to go to bed early, those things were nothing, they were easy, not painful in the least.
The punishments she’d been given after were the things of nightmares.
Things her fourteen-year-old self hadn’t even been able to fathom.
Things of agonizing pain and humiliating degradation.
Now Maya did whatever was asked of her. It was just easier that way. Maybe she hated herself a little each time she complied so easily, but it was better to hate herself than endure more pain and suffering.
If she could avoid that, why shouldn’t she?
It wasn’t like she hadn't already suffered more than she could have imagined when she was first taken. Now she didn't care about surviving, didn't care about escaping, didn't care about anything other than avoiding pain.
Well as much of it as she could.
Her master hadn’t bought her to spoil her with pretty clothes, expensive jewelry, and all her favorite foods.
Nope.
He’d bought her to use as he saw fit. Unfortunately for her, that meant she was kept in a cage as little more than a pet, although not one of those spoiled ones like their poodle her mom had treated almost like another child. She was the kind of pet that was constantly caged, dragged around on a leash whenever she was let out, fed something she wasn't quite sure wasn't dog food, and if it wasn't, it was only one step up. She had been taught several “tricks” that she was expected to perform on command.
More noise flitted through her mind, but she was already sinking deeper into her little mental haven. Although her room was dark, with no lights, no windows, and only one door, inside her mind, lights began to flicker on. Pretty sparkly fairy lights that she’d strung up as a reminder that even if there was no light in her real life, no one but her had control of what happened inside her mind.
