She had to get clean.
Had to scrub away the filth that marred her body and her soul, or it was going to destroy her.
Chapter
Fourteen
March 4th
3:51 A.M.
This had to stop.
Maya was going to rub her skin raw, not to mention the water had to be burning her, not that she seemed to notice.
Stripping off his T-shirt and sweatpants, Thunder reached under the spray to grab hold of his girl. Predictably, she fought against him, but he wasn't letting her hurt herself. Giving her space to process her emotions was fine, but causing herself physical pain was not.
“Sorry, babydoll, but you can't keep doing that,” he said, keeping hold of her with one arm and reaching around her with his other to turn off the shower. Since she didn't seem to like him calling her Maya, he was more than happy to stick with the nickname, which didn't seem to bother her.
Part of him wished he’d always stuck with it, and waited until she was ready to share her name with him.
But there was no going back, all Thunder could do now was deal with what was and not what could have been. Waitingnever would have been realistic because they’d sent pictures of her and the DNA sample and fingerprints to Prey before they’d even brought her back there. It was what they always did, and although he’d felt a pull toward her the moment he’d found her in that cage, he couldn’t have known that pull would only grow stronger the more time he spent around her.
“Come here,” he murmured softly as he maneuvered her squirming form out of the large walk-in shower. She was still fighting him, and as he lifted her and set her down on the vanity, he had to pry her fingers off the nail brush she’d been using, which he tossed into the sink. Her skin was bright red from the hot water and scrubbing, and she kind of folded in on herself when he reached for a towel and began to dry her off.
While he wasn't sure exactly what had led to her deciding to try to initiate sex, or what had her desperately scrubbing at her skin like she wanted to rub it straight off her body, he understood helplessness, rage, and pain.
That they shared, maybe he could use it to try to reach her.
Because it felt like Maya was drifting further away from him with each passing hour.
Unacceptable.
This woman was important to him. He didn't care that it made no sense, and he fully understood she might choose not to stay there, but he was going to do everything within his power to help her in any way he could.
“I want to show you something. You up for a walk?”
Slowly, her eyes lifted to meet his. There was so much pain in them, it hit him like a punch to the gut. If only there was an easy way to wash that all away from her. But there wasn't. All he could do was keep being there and hope that when she was ready, she’d see that he was here for her and allow him to help her.
There wasn't just pain in her eyes, but confusion, too. Like she was struggling to comprehend her own emotions and behaviors.
When she gave a small nod, his heart soared. Even though she felt so far away, she wasn't lost to him yet. That was something he was clinging to.
Finishing drying her off, he quickly ran the towel over his own body, then threw his clothes back on. It was still cold out, not quite spring yet, but with his enhanced ability to withstand temperature extremes, he wouldn't need a coat. Didn't want to leave Maya alone to go grab one either, because he felt that her acquiescence was tentative at best. Given some time alone, she was likely to change her mind.
Once he was dressed, he lifted Maya back down, allowing his fingers to linger on her soft skin. It was still pink, but he’d stopped her before she could do too much damage to herself.
Attracted as he was to her, it would have been so easy to give in, give her what she wanted. Only it wasn't really what she wanted. Just because he didn't understand the thought process that had gotten her from seeking comfort to initiating sex, he knew it wasn't something she truly wanted. Which meant he wasn't giving in to his desire.
If they ever had sex, it would be when she was in her right mind, not lost to fear and terror and darkness. It would be because her body cried out for him as strongly as his did for her.
Guiding her into the bedroom, Thunder quickly rifled through her closet, grabbed her jeans and a sweater, warm socks and a pair of boots, then a coat. When he set the items on the bed, she gave them a weary look, like the effort to put them on was more than she possessed.
“I got you, babydoll,” he soothed as he began to dress her. Maya didn't fight him, and five minutes later, he was leading her through the house.
Again, there was no fighting him, it seemed to have all drained out of her. Pausing briefly by the door, Thunder shoved his feet into his boots, and then they stepped out into the night. It was dark, but not so cloudy that there wasn't plenty of light from the moon and the stars.
“One of the first things I did when our boss found this place for us to move into was build a treehouse,” he told her as he stopped in front of a tree in the forest. It looked no different from any others, and if you didn't know what was built in the high branches, you’d never spot it. “This is my special place. The place I come to when the darkness inside me becomes too much to handle.”
