My gaze dropped to our clasped hands, and I barely stopped myself from pulling away.
Madison’s wary gaze slid to me. “…You do?”
Instead of gracing that with a response, I focused on not grimacing.
“We’ll take any excuse to get closer,” Ellie added, beaming up at me. “Right, cuddle muffin?”
I jolted at the pet name—the same one I vaguely remembered her using when she climbed into my bed as a unicorn—andI stared for a beat before cocking an eyebrow. “Of course,Darling.”
This was the worst plan I’d ever come up with, and I was seriously considering bribing the helicopter pilot to get me the hell out of here.
Harrison’s jaw hung halfway to the floor. “Bro, did she just call you cuddle muffin?”
“Shut. Up,” I bit out, not needing his teasing on top of everything else. He was responsible for this shit show.
“No, no. This is a miracle. Your fiancée is officially my new favorite person.” He sidled up to Ellie’s other side and slung an arm over her shoulders. A tersemeowsounded from her backpack. “Do you have a few hours free later to talk about Cade?”
“She doesn’t.” I easily shut down that potential nightmare while tugging Ellie away from Harrison. “Because, apparently, we’ll be busy with a couples retreat. Thanks for the heads-up on that,bro.”
He just shrugged. “I warned you this was for serious couples, but forgive me for being a little distracted after you dropped the fiancée bomb.”
I frowned, but Madison shushed us and pointed to the doors leading inside. “She’s here, she’s here! No more bickering.”
We all turned to the entrance, and I dropped Ellie’s hand while everyone was distracted by the new arrival.
An older woman with a floor-length flowy white hippie-type dress and curly greying hair glided toward us on bare feet. She carried a giant brown tote with charms and feathers tied to the handles. Her cat-eye glasses were as thick as the dozens of bracelets dangling from her wrists, and a horrible feeling filled my gut.
“Welcome, everyone!” She raised her arms in greeting, and the flowy fabric of her sleeves draped from her arms like a hippiewitch casting a spell. “It’s an honor to be your guide on this wonderful journey of love and healing. I’m forever grateful for the invitation, Madison.”
The lady bowed toward all of us with her hands pressed together, and I pushed down the urge to ask my brother what the hell was going on.
“No, no. We’re just so grateful you agreed to be our retreat leader,” Madison assured her, stepping forward. “I know trips like this aren’t usually part of your services, so thank you for accommodating us, Dr. Lovejoy.”
I couldn’t stay silent any longer.
“Your legal name is Lovejoy?” I asked, face deadpan.
The lady’s smile only widened until we could see her glistening gums.
“Yes, my family name is Lovejoy. It appears I was destined to lead love retreats, doesn’t it?” She laughed warmly, which only further grated on my nerves. “But you can call me Bliss if it would make you more comfortable.”
It would not.
“Are you an actual doctor?” Fletcher asked, looking her over with a frown.
Her bracelets clanked together as she clasped her hands. “I’m not a doctor in the official sense, but the title provides a sense of security for my clients.”
My upper lip curled. “If you’re not licensed but calling yourself a doctor, that just makes you a fraud.”
Ellie lightly cleared her throat and leaned in to whisper. “Cade? Maybe let’s not jump straight to accusing the nice lady of fraud.”
Bliss’s smile remained serene. “Licenses are a man-made construct more focused on profits than healing. Helping isn’t limited to those who seek approval through educational goalposts that only exist to make the rich richer. Some healers,like myself, are called upon by a greater power to lead couples on their journeys of love.”
My jaw clenched. That was utter bullshit.
“Let it go, guys,” Piper said through a strained smile. “Dr. Lovejoy has millions of online followers.”
I shook my head. “So, she’s a fraudanda cult leader?”
