“When you were a knight. Did you always wear your armor?”
“When I was in enemy territory.”
“When you were near the sea, you mean.”
“Obviously.” What is he playing at?
“Even behind your barrier? Did you ever go by the sea without it? In the Empire?”
“Sometimes. If I had my protective necklace on.”
“Never without enchantment, then.”
“I… the sea’s dangerous.”
“Your arm is enchanted,” Roiven says. He stops approaching. I take another two steps back, to be safe. I’m almost at the corner where the crevasse bends and becomes a hidden village. “If you took it off…”
“You’re being ridiculous,” I tell him. “It doesn’t come off, thanks toyou. The armor is part of me now.”
Roiven doesn’t say anything. He stares at me, his eyes burning, his black hair twisting in the wind.
Why is he pushing me so hard?
“Will you trust me, Cai?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because one of us will regret it. Either you’re evil, or I am.”
He blinks at me. For a moment Roiven almost looks confused. Then he offers me a sad, solemn smile.
“That doesn’t have to be true.”
“Of course it’s true. If there’s nothing wrong withyourpeople, then I’m a monster.”
Whatever Roiven believes I am doesn’t absolve me of any of it. I still killed. I still wielded the blade, and charged into battle, and gloried in the victory.
“Or maybe you’re just what they made you to be, Cai,” he murmurs. “But who will you choose to be now? Who will you be today, and tomorrow?”
He doesn’t understand. I shake my head, tears welling.
“Youhaveto hate me.”
“I don’thaveto do anything,” Roiven says. “I can choose to believe in you. I can choose not to blame you, for not knowing the truth; for thinking you had no choice but to wage this war with all of its costs. What matters to me is what you do with the truth now. Will you look away, or keep facing it?Thatis where the test lies.”
What did I ever do to make him believe I’m more than his sworn enemy?
“I’m tired. I need to rest,” I snap. I turn and freeze. There’s a solid cliff in front of me, not a ravine with a village. And I feel the strangest certainty that Idon’twant to go this way.
“Illusion,” Roiven says quietly. “You can just…”
Of course. They aren’t just hiding the villages behind stones. They’re using magic to make sure the Empire doesn’t look hard enough to find them anyways.
I cross through it before he can even finish. The spell hums, a low, thrumming feel, as I pass through and step back into the ravine village. I keep walking, as fast as I can without running. I don’t dare look over my shoulder. If Roiven follows me, I don’t hear him. I climb up the first ladder, and then the second to the long line of courtyards. Nobody stops me or calls after me. I close the door to my room behind me and slide down the floor as my vision blurs with tears that I refuse to shed.
My armor is just armor, nothing more. Roiven is looking for excuses for me, and he’s not going to find one.
