If it weren’t for the bond, my answer would be easy. And immediate. But it’s one thing to realize the witches aren’t evil, to realize I’ve been on the wrong side of this war.
It’s another to give in and accept one of their spells, after a lifetime of fear and hatred.Especiallya spell that connects me tohim.
“I need to think about it.”
“You don’t have long,” Roiven warns. “I need to leave soon.”
“Can’t you take me either way?” I don’t know how likely it is I can get Roiven to agree to a deal, or the War-Father to accept it. But if he goes to face the Hellions without me there, the odds drop quickly to zero.
“No. I won’t take you to the stronghold if you aren’t bonded to me.”
“You’ll leave me here?”
He shakes his head in a quick no, his expression tight.
“Avreen left for the Tower at dawn, and if you don’t bond, I can’t risk leaving you here without a guard. Savasaeirn will take you somewhere with enough food and water for you to survive.”
My cheeks heat. I can’t exactly say why. What does he think I’m going to do, destroy this entire mountain? He isn’t even going to give me my sword if I say no.
He’s trying to back me into a corner, and I think we both know it. Why does he want to bond so badly? Why not just kill me, now that the worst of the enchantment is gone?
“This bond. What will it do to me?”
“It’s a connection. We’ll know each other’s minds—”
“You want to read my thoughts?” I squawk. He quickly throws his hands up.
“No, not thoughts. Broad strokes. Emotions. It will mean we both know where the other is, and if they’re in danger… or causing it.”
I take a step back from him, my heart pounding. I can’t imagine giving him that big a view into myself. There will be no running for either of us if the other can feel where we are.
And yet. It doesn’t sound as bad as I could have expected. Certainly not as bad as the enchantment Harfor put on him.
“It won’t force me to obey you?” I ask quietly. Roiven’s jaw clenches tight.
“Witchcraft can’t be used to take away free will. Only enchantment does that.”
“Still. You’re asking me to give you power over me…”
“Bonds aren’t about control.”
“I’m pretty certain you can manipulate someone with emotion far more easily than you can with words.”
Roiven shakes his head, looking frustrated.
“It’s not about that. It’s trust, and connection. Just like I can’t command Savasaeirn, and she can’t force me. Just like you’ve chosen to push away your own bond.”
That sick, familiar feeling of loss squeezes around my heart.
“And if I want to break it…” I start. Roiven is already shaking his head before I’ve finished.
“A bond can grow stronger or weaker, but it can’t go away. Not once it’s been made.”
A lump forms in my throat. He’s asking me to connect myself to him for life. Even if it’s just to keep his people safe, and to keep track of where I am. Which is useless, because it’s not like the War-Father would take me back.
He should hate me too much to even consider this. I know he can't lie, but I must be asking the wrong questions. There's something he's hiding. Why be kind? Why act like I’m worth trusting?
I turn away and walk to the wall; reach out and run my hand over one of the vines growing there. My fingers shake. Maybe this shouldn’t be such a hard decision, but there’s a lump in my throat and my eyes feel wet and stinging, like I might cry. I don’t want Roiven to see that.
