I can never return to who I used to be and the things I used to believe. But I don’t belong here, either, after everything I’ve done to Roiven’s people.
“There must be a catch,” I say, my voice thick.
“I want you to come as my ally. Not my enemy, not my prisoner.” His footsteps are soft on the ground. When his hand settles onto my left shoulder, his touch is gentle.
“How can you trust me?” I’ve dedicated my life to killing his people. There’s too much blood to ever wash away.
“That’s what the bond is for.”
“Still. You can’t want to be stuck with me.”
“I don’t think the kraken himself would have chosen you without good reason.”
I was seven when I fell into the water. What if the girl who deserved power grew into a woman who did not?
I let my eyes fall shut and draw a ragged breath. My only choice is to be stranded on an island or to do this. And right now, insane though it seems, I trust Roiven’s judgment more than my own.
Maybe this is what it takes. To atone.
“And you promise I’ll still be myself?”
“It’s a bond, Cai. Not a shackle.” He lets go of my shoulder. I nod, more to myself than to him.
“And you’ll think about negotiating,” I confirm.
“Yes. I promise.”
“Alright,” I whisper. If I’m handing Roiven a part of myself, at least I get a part of him in return.
“Alright?” he echoes, sounding surprised despite the fact that he’s been pushing.
I blink rapidly, and swipe at my eyes with my living hand hoping he won’t notice. Then I turn, jutting my chin out and trying to look more confident than I feel.
“What do I do?”
Roiven’s eyes study my face closely. I’m afraid he can see far more than I want him to. But he offers me his left hand without saying a word. Does he want to shake on our agreement? I give him my living hand in return.
He grips it tight, and doesn’t let go. I try to shake, but his grip is firm and steady, holding me in place.
“Relax.”
“Easy for you to say,” I mutter. One corner of Roiven’s mouth quirks in a smile.
“It might help to close your eyes. Take a deep breath. No blood sacrifice involved, promise.”
Oh, we're doing thisnow.
His gaze stays on mine, and I find I can’t look away. Whether because I don’t trust him, or because I don’t want to, I can’t say. Pressure pushes against my mind, like Roiven is squeezing my brain. I jerk back and rip my hand free.
“What the hell?”
He sighs and offers me his hand again.
“I told you to relax. If you keep a wall up, this isn’t going to work.”
“I’m not doing anything.” I reluctantly take his hand again. My heart thuds rapidly against my ribs.
“You’re fighting. Don’t.”
