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“She was never a target of the Hunters. You were. The only reason she’s here is because you two were together. Blame me for her captivity if you must, but I had nothing to do with it. I can’t let her go because it will cause chaos in this camp.”
“Then why can you let me go?”
He dropped his hand from his chin and straightened. “I said nothing about letting you go.”
I shifted my gaze away, the heat burning my throat, the overwhelming weight suddenly hitting my shoulders and causing my back to bend. It was on my chest, making it hard to breathe, and the pain was so sharp that it made me whimper. Tears sprung to my eyes as my body faced what my mind couldn’t.
She would never forgive me.
And she shouldn’t.
My hand cupped my mouth as I started to cry, seeing the flames begin to blur as the moisture coated my vision. Flashbacks of that night came back to me, me with the two men who’d bought my drinks throughout the night, and Raven standing there…telling me not to go. I basically told her to fuck off. Girl, you need to chill. Your mind is playing tricks on you. I cried harder, remembering the look on her face as I said that. Stop telling me what to do. I’m a big girl who doesn’t need you to take care of me anymore.
Her response to that sealed my fate, because then I just went with them out of spite. Obviously, I still do need to take care of you because these guys have got psycho written all over them, and you’re too stupid to see that. I’m sick of this shit, Melanie. I’m sick of you making stupid decision after stupid decision. I’m telling you, I saw that motherfucker outside our apartment, and he’s gonna put you in an oil barrel or something. There’re a million guys out there, you’ll find someone new tomorrow. I covered my face with both hands, sobbing harder, hating myself more as the memory haunted me.
The bed dipped beside me, and the air was instantly different. It smelled like pine, like fresh air, like the woods after a rain. He was on the opposite of the fire, but he brought his own heat as if he were engulfed in flames. “Chérie.” He didn’t touch me, kept a foot of space between us.
I was swallowed whole by my pain. I wished my next breath would be my last.
“Chérie.” His hands gripped my wrists and pulled them from my face. “What did I say?” He leaned toward me, closer to me than he’d ever been before. “Tell me what I said.” He grew more demanding as I didn’t answer, even angry.
“It’s all my fault…” I pressed my eyes tightly together, so more tears squeezed out. “She tried to save me, but I wouldn’t listen. She tried to warn me, but I was a fucking brat. I’m the reason she’s here. And she won’t…she won’t forgive me.” I lowered my wrists to my thighs where his hands remained, three times the size of mine, exerting the gentleness of a feather, like he knew exactly how to touch someone so delicate.
His coal-colored eyes looked at the side of my face, drilling deep into my core. The light from the fireplace brightened his face, sharpening the lines of his jaw by deepening the shadow behind the edges.
“I’ve tried to apologize a few times, but she won’t hear me out.” I gave a loud sniff then reached for a napkin on my tray to blot the tears away. The material balled up in my closed fingertips. “She’s right about me…she’s always been right. It made me angry with her, made me resentful. Not because she was wrong, but because she was right…and I hate that she’s right.”
“Right about what?”
I gestured to the fire. “That I’m worthless. That I always need someone to take care of me. That I’m an idiot who constantly makes bad decisions, so I need someone to make decisions for me.”
“Doesn’t mean you’re worthless. Means you have a different kind of worth.”
I patted the napkin against my cheek again, absorbing the final trail of tears.
“I can take care of you.”
My eyes stayed on the fire, his hands cupped underneath mine, letting mine rest inside his like they were pillows.
“You will never feel worthless with me.” He moved his face to the crook of my neck, his warm lips coming into contact with my skin. A soft kiss was pressed to my flesh, the same gentleness he showed with his hands. He let his mouth linger awhile before he shifted upward into my hair, smelling me, breathing against me. He turned a little bit more and pressed a kiss to the shell of my ear.
I closed my eyes and automatically interlocked our fingers. I was at the beach, and my fingers dove into the soft sand, the grains surrounding me until I was buried. His hand gave me a gentle squeeze in return. “The events of our lives that shape who we become are out of our control. Accept who you are.”
