Adam’s looking at me now with that expression that means he knows something is wrong, but he’s trying to decide whether to call me on it or wait for me to volunteer information.
I busy myself with wiping down the espresso machine.
“Felix,” he says quietly. “If something’s goingon...”
“Nothing’s going on.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
“I’m an excellent liar. You’re just too perceptive.”
That makes him smile slightly. “Is it witch stuff? Because you know you can tell me if it’s witch stuff. I’m engaged to a shadow being. I’ve become very open-minded about supernatural things.”
The irony is almost painful. If only it were just witch stuff. If only I could tell him.
But I can’t. Because telling Adam means Hex finds out. And Hex finding out means everything gets complicated in ways I can’t predict or control.
“It’s nothing,” I say. “Just tired. Haven’t been sleeping well.”
This is true, at least. I haven’t slept properly since the summoning. Hard to sleep when there’s a furious shadow king in your living room radiating cold and rage.
Adam’s expression softens. “You should take better care of yourself. I worry about you.”
The words hit harder than they should. Has anyone ever worried about me? Actually cared whether I was sleeping or eating or taking care of myself?
My throat feels tight. I swallow hard and turn away, pretending to organise the cups.
“I’m fine,” I manage.
“You keep saying that.”
“Because it’s true.”
It’s not true. We both know it’s not true. But Adam lets it go because he’s kind and he knows when to push and when to wait.
The morning continues. More customers. More coffee. More small talk that I half-listen to while my mind churns through everything that could go wrong.
Despite the imminent threat of Hex’s arrival, my thoughts keep drifting back to the feeding problem. One problem at a time, I guess.
Dis needs sustenance. Shadow beings don’t just fade quietly. They weaken. They suffer. And as much as I hate him, as angry as I am, I’m not cruel enough to let that happen.
Which means I need to do something.
The question that keeps circling in my brain is the same one that’s been there since yesterday. What exactly does feeding a shadow being involve?
I know the basics. Intense emotion. Physical intimacy. Energy exchange.
But what does it actually feel like? What happens? I’ve been curious about shadow beings ever since Adam got involved with Hex.
I remember the first time I saw them together. The way Hex looked at Adam. The intensity of it. Like Adam was air and water and everything necessary for existence.
I remember thinking it seemed overwhelming. Consuming. The kind of connection that would burn you alive if you let it.
And I remember being curious. Wondering what it would feel like to be the focus of that kind of attention. To be needed like that.
I hate that I’m curious now. Hate that my brain is fixating on this when I should be focused on keeping Dis trapped and figuring out my next move and how to stop Hex from finding out.
But I can’t help it.
