“I think I like this rare, shy Emery.”
“Yeah?”
He hums, nodding. “Makes me want to do wicked, teasing things to you to see when you’ll go back to being bossy.” I laugh, and he sobers slightly. “Emmy. It’s just me.”
“It’s you, but it’s a new you,” I say. “I want to impress you.”
“Woman, you had your ass in my face this morning—you’ve already impressed me.”
I laugh.
“And honestly, Emmy, you don’t need to do anything differently. Just because we’re in a new place, we’re still us.”
“I know.”
“I love this,” he admits. “I know it sounds crazy, but right now? This whole situation is the coolest thing. I feel so calm, because I know that I’m going to remember everything, and I actually want the memories to slow down for this weekend so I can savor doing everything with you for the first time all over again.”
I look up at him, at his shining blue eyes and playful grin. “Really?”
He nods, humming, “Mm-hmm.”
“Okay.” I reach for the hem of the T-shirt, pulling it up and over my head, tossing it into the open suitcase on the floor. Luca’s eyes span the length of my body from the top of my head to my toes, his ears turning pink. “Let’s go swim.”
37LUCA
It’s late; most young families have long since gone to bed, and the only other people out at the pool are a handful of well-behaved teenagers and one other couple enjoying a night swim. Em and I find lounge chairs together near the hot tub and drop our towels down before approaching the pool.
It’s hot; with all the rock faces surrounding us, midsummer in Yosemite feels a little like being baked in an oven, but at night it mellows into a gentle heat punctuated with cool breezes blowing westward over the Sierras. Emery stretches, growing long and lean with her arms overhead, and then smiles over at me.
“Pool or hot tub?”
“Pool first,” I say, “then hot tub.”
I expect her to gently tiptoe into the pool, but she surprises me by taking a running leap into the deep end and doing an impressive cannonball. Surfacing, she wipes the water from her face and laughs. “It’s so cold!”
“Wait—actually?”
She nods. “It’s, like, shockingly cold.”
Unfortunately, I can’t ease in slowly after her impressive stunt, so I gesture for her to move aside before diving into the pool after her. Everything in my body contracts at the sensation of the icy water, but the shock of it soon dissolves into a pleasant tingle, and I kick my way to the surface.
I find Emery holding on to the side of the pool, resting her arms on the still-warm concrete. “You weren’t kidding,” I say.
“Do you want to go to the hot tub?” she asks, teeth chattering.
“No, come on,” I say, laughing, “we can handle a little cold, let’s just keep moving. Just tread water.”
She laughs. “Men treading water is on Annie’s Ick List, Luca.”
“Fuck, I forgot.” I say it, and then my eyes go wide.I remember the list. “Along with men who clap when a plane lands, say ‘let’s circle back’ in casual conversation or ‘no worries if not’ after every request, and take gym mirror selfies.” I grin. “Afraid that last one will disqualify Crash for good.”
“That and maybe a few others,” she says, beaming. “I can’t believe how fast things are coming back now.”
“I know, me, too.” I swim closer, pulling her to me. Her slippery legs weave with mine, and it sends an immediate warmth to my groin. I realize it sounds insane, but I don’t want to remember everything right now; I want to just enjoy tonight. I want to stay in the dark for just a little longer… long enough to make love to my wife for the first time again.
But I realize it’s more than that. I’m scared, too.
Emery had a wake-up call the night I was hit by the car; she’s had a second chance to be the partner she thinks I deserve. There’s a part of me, and it’s not insignificant, that worries how it will feel to know that she wasn’t a perfect wife. That I wasn’t a perfect husband. It’s one thing to know it in abstract terms, but it’s another to remember how it felt.
