“We’ve got cattle out in the north pasture that need to be moved. We are branding today, and the vet is coming to do vaccines. So I’m going to need the majority of the team up at the north pasture, and a few down here. Do you think you can help me rally the troops, Pike? Or are you just going to talk their ears off?”
“I can help you, boss,” he said, his tonedry.
“See that you do.”
Zane did pretty well not thinking about Cara for the rest of the day. Did pretty well, not ruminating at all. There was something about the land. He found some peace out there. There were two things in the known world that gave Zane Barton some sense of peace.
The first was being part of a family. Whether that be the brotherhood of the military, the frat boy energy of the rodeo, or this ranching operation, even though he wasn’t social, being a part of it, rather than being isolated and alone in the world, did something for him.
The second thing was nature. His horse, the trees, the sky, the mountains. Feeling the wind against his face.
It reminded him that he was alive.
It reminded him that being alive was a gift.
He had that out here every single day. And he was grateful for that. Even though working for Cody in perpetuity hadn’t really been the plan, he was coming around to the idea that it might be the best thing for him.
Maybe that was why he had been a stubborn asshole about letting them trail ride on his property. Because part of him had been planning to be near everything, but not in it, and here he was in it a whole lot more than he wanted to be.
Maybe he wanted some more separation.
But hell, on the bright side, having people trail ride past his place meant that he could chase them away with a broom that much earlier.
He didn’t even have to live in town.
Alone, sitting on his horse, gazing out at the mountains, Zane laughed.
It begged the question: if he laughed in the wilderness, and no one was around to see it, did it happen?
As far as anyone who knew him was concerned, it sure as hell didn’t.
Chapter Three
Jackson Carey did call her that night, and he came in in the morning to get a cinnamon twist, and Cara felt like she should be more excited about that than she was.
Sort of like riding horses, honestly. She just couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm.
He was a nice man. He was handsome. And he was exactly the kind of person that she should be happy to go on a date with. He was definitely gearing up to ask her out.
She should just put him out of his misery and ask him if he wanted to go out. Why not? She was flattered by the attention. He had a Walker vibe to him, she thought. Easy.
Her heart didn’t jump up into her throat when he walked into the bakery.
She got a pleasant little feeling of warmth, but it wasn’t like the whole vasovagal response she had when Zane walked into a space she was in.
It had been extremely telling when she had just finished talking to Jackson, and then Zane had come in, looking like a bad boy fantasy, all black cowboy hat and black jeans, intense dark eyes and beard.
She needed to stop. Fascinating was fine, obsession was something else entirely. He was hot. So what? Many men were hot. Jackson was handsome. She couldn’t bring herself to thinkhot. But handsome and nice.
So maybe she should obsess about him.
She was feeling bad about her decision to not go on the ride, frustrated with herself, and honestly, the two men were sort of a metaphor for the thing she was frustrated about. Jackson represented something safe, something secure.
Zane represented something wild that lived on the wrong side of danger.
She wasn’t taking either option, that was the point. She was pursuingnothing. She was still stuck, like she was caregiving, like she still had restrictions around her life, and it was like she had no idea how to live differently.
A long time ago, she’d heard that when kittens spent the first part of their life in a cage, even when you let them out, they still saw bars around them. She felt like she was one of those kittens. Seeing bars that weren’t there, but even knowing that didn’t help her feel like she could break through them.
