If he had to be a little bit embarrassing, a little bit cringe in order to pull this off, then that was just fine by him.
He was startled when Walker slunk into the barn behind him.
He and Walker rarely had much to say to each other. They were completely different people. Though one thing was that darkness recognized darkness. He had a feeling that nobody saw darkness in Walker. But he knew it was there.
Everybody else saw this charming, easy playboy, and he was that. On the surface.
He was very much not that deep down, and Zane was certain of that.
Because he recognized walls.
Zane had built himself a fortress off in the mountains, Walker just had one in his soul.
“Looks good,” Walker said. “And thank you, because now I’m going to start offering us up to the local schools as a venue possibility.”
“Well. That’s something.”
Zane felt exposed because everybody knew that he was doing this, and he would rather keep it to himself. But then, he kept everything to himself. He always had.
So now there was this thing out in the open. He couldn’t hide it, and hell, he didn’t even really want to.
He didn’t want to. Cara was important to him. And he had to crawl across emotional broken glass in order to admit to Cody that he wanted to do this in the first place, and now that he had done it, yeah, now he felt just fine.
“She’ll love it,” Walker said.
“I’m sure she will.”
“I’m a little jealous. She’s pretty. I might’ve been interested myself if I didn’t think my brother would take my arm off.”
Zane grunted.
“Easy tiger,” Walker said. “I’m not going to steal your girl.”
“You couldn’t anyway,” Zane said. “She likes my particular brand of fucked.”
“So nice for you,” Walker said. “I guess I’m just going to have to continue going through life as if it’s a buffet. Somehow, I think I’ll cope.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you will.”
“Still. Could’ve been fun.”
“She’s not fun,” he said, anger rising up inside of him. “Imean… I’m not doing this for fun. Do you think I set up a fucking prom to get more sex? I’m getting all the sex I can possibly have while we both run our lives. I’m not doing this because of that. I’m doing it because I…”
He loved her. That much was clear, right then, right there. He loved her.
He loved her, and he wanted to do this for her because she mattered to him.
Because she was the most important person in his life. Because she was the only person who made him smile, the only person who even came close to making him laugh. Because even though Cody was like family, she was like something else altogether. Because she was the first person who had allowed him the space, the safety, to talk about his family. Because she was the only person who had helped him begin to process the things that had happened in his life.
All of the death, the destruction.
She was the first person to make him think that maybe his life could have more than just that.
She was magic altogether.
He didn’t have to think anymore about what love might be because love was the thing that consumed him now. Love was the thing that made him get up every morning. Love was the thing that made him have this barn decorated. It was why he had done something this… outlandish.
Because he wanted to give to her, in every way, and even if he couldn’t figure out quite what to do, he could figure out something; he had figured out this. He couldn’t make the past disappear, he couldn’t make everything okay, but he could give her a little piece of what she had lost, he could give them both a little piece of something, and maybe, just maybe, they would start to feel healed.
