“I guess.” She was exasperated.
“If I make you mad, are you going to stop paying me in sweets?”
“Paying you?”
He frowned. “Isn’t that why you leave me the rolls? For the work that I did?”
“No. I mean, now that you say that, maybe that’s what I should’ve been doing. But… No. It’s not what I was doing. I was just leaving them because I wanted you to come here.”
Silence stretched between them. “I like you. As weird as that is. As dumb as that maybe is, I’m not just attracted to you. I actually like being around you. I won’t date anybody while we’re together.”
“I don’t need –”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“Fine. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to tear him limbfrom limb. I wanted to punch him right in that smug smile. That guy pisses me off. Just by breathing.”
Her heart stumbled over itself. This was feral and not the kind of thing that she should be excited by. Not the sort of thing that she should encourage, but she loved it.
This was her problem. She didn’t want milquetoast. She didn’t want the thing that Jackson was offering her. She wanted to want it. She wanted to push herself towards something nice and normal. That was what she wanted.
Except, the undercurrent of everything was that… It wasn’t what she wanted. She had done a big move, a big change. She had made strides in her life to really, really have something different, and she had to stop trying to shove herself into the box of normal.
Maybe this was it. Her life had been abnormal. Totally and completely.
And so had his. Maybe that was why her connection with him was so strong.
Or maybe it was just that they had intense chemistry, and she liked it. Maybe it was just that he was possessive of her, and she wanted somebody to want her that badly.
Whatever the reason, she didn’t want to turn away from it now.
“I promise. Nobody else. I’ll tell Jackson that I’m unavailable.”
“Are you going to tell him you’re seeing someone somewhere?”
“If I do that, it’s going to get around. I’m just going to have to give him some kind of line about… Not liking him.” She grimaced. “I’ll figure it out. I’ll workshop letting him down easy. That’s also a new experience. I’ve never had to do that before either.”
“Good. Tell him that he doesn’t have a chance.”
It felt good to hear him say that, and she knew it shouldn’t.
She should probably tell Zane that he was being a dick. She should probably tell him that he didn’t get to be possessive when he was having her keep this secret from everybody.
But it felt good. To be wanted like this.
Because she had felt outside for a long time. All through her teenage years, she had felt like a pariah.
But this was fun. It was hot and magical, and he made her feel beautiful and joyful and wanted.
And she wanted to fling herself into it, even if it was a fire that was going to burn her life.
“All right. For as long as this is happening. I’m yours.”
Chapter Fifteen
He had been in a jealous haze the entire day. It was a completely new sensation. One he had never experienced before. And now, hearing her say those words, hearing her say that she was his? He was undone.
He was feral at the best of times, and this was not the best of times. He was something beyond that. He was wild.
