His smile faded and I braced myself for what he needed to say next. “I don’t think I can call you Mom and Dad.”
I let out a sigh of relief. That was an easy one to negotiate. “I understand that. You had a mom and a dad and we could never replace them. All I want is to make sure you are safe and secure. And that you know it.”
He nodded. “I hope Social Services don't take us away. I mean they still could, right?”
“That is the only positive thing about the investigation taking so long.” I turned to face him. “The longer you’re with us and you’re safe and healthy and surrounded by good people, the more likely the courts are to extend our custody down the road to making things permanent.”
“If we do stay, will you adopt Landon and Victoria?”
“I will adopt all three of you. I will do whatever it takes to make sure we’re a family. If you want to keep your last name, that’s fine. A name doesn’t make us less family.”
He nodded. “Bill wasn’t a good man. I don’t think Landy and Vic should keep his name. And I would be okay if they called you Mom and Dad.”
I smiled and let out a deep breath. We would be fine. I knew we would.
Chapter Seventeen
BEX
I had forgotten how easy it was to talk to Logan. I told him I couldn’t have kids and he didn’t force me to talk about it. I knew that wouldn’t last forever. He wouldn’t let me wallow for long before he made me talk. I had no doubt that was what he was doing with Dom. The kid looked concerned when I left. The worry on his face was not something I ever wanted to see on someone so young.
I stopped out of hearing distance, waiting for the two of them to finish their chat and catch up with me. I might have been a coward but I didn’t want to face my family on my own.
It wasn’t until they were walking beside me I could mention something I had wanted to bring up earlier. From the night Nick yelled at him. “So, you finally got that older brother speech. I’m guessing both Ollie and Nick gave you a piece of their mind.”
“Oh, Mason gave me a piece of his many years ago.” Logan smiled at the memory and then winced.
I raised a brow, wanting to know more. “He did?”
“Yeah, ended up taking a fist to the nose at the back of the old barn.” He rubbed the spot. “You remember the broken nose I told you I got in the gym? Yeah, that was your brother. He ranted so loud that Jake overheard. That’s how he found out.”
“That was not part of the plan. Still. He was there for you.” That was one thing I had insisted on from Mason. “I knew once the baby came and I had to give it up I would need to break up with you. I wanted you to have someone.”
I knew he couldn’t rely on his family. His mother wasn’t a horrible woman, she just wasn’t very warm or understanding. His dad left before I even knew him. I knew Logan hated the idea of leaving his kid for that very reason.
Mason and I had basically been his only support. Well, and my family. My dad had taught him and Mason how to shave at the same time. Ollie was the one to talk to them about condom use. I know because Logan had walked away from that conversation red in the face. Not an easy feat for someone with such dark skin. And we'd been having sex for a good few months at that point.
“Mason is a good friend. All your brothers are.” He paused and gestured for Dom to carry on. How that kid didn’t get migraines from the number of eyerolls was beyond me. Once Dom was out of ear shot, Logan continued. “Each of them texted me regularly when I was in New York. Even begging me to come back once you got engaged to that asshole.”
Curtis was an asshole. He had been sleeping with another woman while we were engaged. Joke was on him, though. Since neither of us knew about the other, Jess and I had bonded over our mutual poor taste in men. She had sworn off men entirely. Me? I was happy to do the same. Even when Logan moved back to town, I pretended to not be interested. I wasn’t ready for all that relationship crap.
I thought I was ready before I got shot. But then I found out I couldn't have children and worried he wouldn’t want me. I still felt like half a woman, but I knew those were more emotional issues. I had to deal with those. With time and with Logan’s help.
I knew family had little to do with biology. My four brothers had married two sets of best friends and I watched how sisters were formed from a connection that had nothing to do with blood. I missed my sister every day. She had been my rock during the darkest period of my life. Not my pregnancy. That was just a secret, and I had Logan through all of that. No, after that.
I had given up my child and pushed away the love of my life. I was a bundle of regret and bad choices. But Debbie had reminded me why I made the decisions I had. She was the only one. I couldn’t tell Mason. Not because I couldn’t trust him. He would keep my secret. I knew he would. But he would feel guilty for not letting Logan know.
At some point I would need to tell Logan why I sent him away. And why I’d had to give Dom up for adoption. The sooner the better.
It was while I was debating telling him, that we reached the front garden to my parents’ home and I noticed everyone had gathered at the picnic spots a little ways off.
It looked like my dad was preparing the grill. My mom was there, as well as my brother, Nick. Jared, Debbie’s boyfriend before she died and the father of her son, was also there. Both men had their toddler sons with them. Suddenly I wished Landon was also there getting to know his family. And Vicky too. Maybe it was time for a Salinger Security family picnic once again. The company hosted them regularly. We played a little fast and loose with the term family. What we meant were the friends we collected along the way who became family. That some were blood relations, was just a coincidence.
The way my mother and Dom looked at me, I was reminded that not everything in the Salinger world was one hundred percent okay. Half my family wasn’t talking to me, even though they were doing their damndest to protect my son after hewitnessed a murder. Said son was resentful, and I couldn’t take that away from him. He’d had his world turned upside down and witnessed something he was never supposed to. And he still hadn’t dealt with the trauma of it all. And now he was grounded.
He was bottling it all up and I just wanted him to know he was safe to let all his feelings out. But I had a feeling Logan had taken care of that.
I hoped that was the case, at least. Even if that meant shouting at Logan and I. He shouldn’t have to be strong for the little ones. I could handle that burden. Logan could, too.
