“I’m sorry, Antonia, I didn’t want you to find out like this. I didn’t want you to find out at all, in fact. I knew it would be too much to ask of you—of anyone—to believe it.”
“You really think you’ve spoken to characters? Fictional characters talk to you?” Antonia asked quietly.
Aurelia nodded.
“And Oliver? Have you told him about this fantasy?”
“It’s not a fantasy!” Julia cut in. “I can tell you all about them—about Kitty and how she’s a little jealous of Lizzy marrying Darcy, but excited for her, too. And Blanche and how she’s mean at first but is getting nicer even if she still gets angry if we mention Jane Eyre.”
“This is your doing, Aurelia!” Antonia shot at her as she jabbed a finger in Julia’s direction. “Do you expect me to let her go on believing this nonsense and getting carried away with it all?”
“I know it’s unbelievable. I know you’re upset, and I’m sorry Julia’s upset, but it’s real.”
Antonia stared down Aurelia, then turned to her daughter.
“I mean it—go and get packed, Julia. Now.”
“No.Imean it. I’m staying here!”
Antonia took a step toward her, and Julia ran into the guest room and slammed the door. Turning back to Aurelia, Antonia said in her steeliest voice, “Tell me that door doesn’t have a lock.”
Aurelia bit her lip as they heard a distinct click.
29
Aureliaofferedtorunout and pick up dinner since Antonia refused to leave the flat without Julia. As she walked to the restaurant, paid for and picked up their order, then walked home, she couldn’t shake the feeling of her limbs being dissociated from the rest of her, of moving her body from a distance.
When Aurelia got back to the flat, Antonia had found some wine and was well onto her second glass by the looks of the bottle. She wordlessly poured a glass for Aurelia, while Aurelia set out plates and silverware for their dinner.
Aurelia took a bracing sip of wine before going to knock on Julia’s door.
“Julia?” she asked quietly.
“I’m not leaving!” Julia shouted from the other side of the door.
“Yes, understood. We have dinner out here when you’re ready to eat.”
The food sat untouched as Aurelia and Antonia stood in the kitchen, leaning against the countertop and staring each other down.
“You know me,” Aurelia began. “Have I ever said anything this outrageous before? Doesn’t it make it more likely that I’m being honest with you?”
“I believe you honestly believe it,” Antonia said sadly.
“I don’t know what to say to help you believe me. I just never planned to tell you, or anyone. Well, anyone other than Oliver.”
“You really haven’t told him?”
Antonia’s voice was gentler than before, and Aurelia felt a tiny bit of tension ease out of her body at the possibility that her sister was on her side again.
“No,” she confessed with a groan. “I was going to tell him before the wedding, but now…”
Aurelia paused, finally taking a moment to gather her thoughts about everything that had happened that day—the past few days, really—and how her world of carefully built secrets and lies was finally crumbling. She’d wanted to tell someone before—Oliver, Antonia, anyone—but with all her daydreams and plotting about how and when she might do it, she’d never planned for it to go the way it had with Julia, or her sister. Which meant she had no roadmap for exactly how it would go when she told Oliver.
Antonia crossed the kitchen and stood next to her sister, leaning into Aurelia just slightly in what she knew was a show of support.
“All this time I’ve been afraid to tell someone,” she went on. “I was afraid they wouldn’t believe me or that they’d think something was wrong with me. But then Julia could see them and it was like this spark of hope—that it wasn’t just me. But the phone call this morning… And seeing how worried and upset you’ve been… I’m even more afraid than before that Oliver will think I’m just as mad as you do.”
Antonia raised her shoulders, conceding the point.
