“But we’ll probably be back before I finishPride and Prejudice, right? I mean, we’ll at least be back in time for the wedding. We’d never stay that long, would we?”
Julia looked from Aurelia to Antonia.
“I’m sure we’ll be back before then,” Antonia said, nudging Julia toward the stairs.
The two sisters looked at each other, and Aurelia finally let a tear escape before swiping it away. Antonia hugged her tightly.
“It’s going to be alright. You love each other. And you weren’t trying to hurt him.”
“I know.”
“Come on, now,” Antonia said, brushing away more of Aurelia’s tears. “I’ll call you tonight?”
“Okay.”
Aurelia stood at the railing and watched as Antonia and Julia left the shop and headed toward the high street. She took a few bracing gulps of air and went upstairs to shower and ready herself for whatever came next.
36
“Yousayitstartedwhen you took over the shop, which means it’s been going on since the first day I met you. Imagine how that makes me feel.”
“I know it wasn’t right not to tell you. But when exactly is the right time to tell someone that you sit around at night chatting with characters from books?”
“I don’t know, but more than three weeks before our wedding seems about right.”
They’d been talking for over an hour, breakfast half eaten and abandoned on the dining table. With all that talk, Aurelia hadn’t managed to smooth the waters or make him feel better. It was hard to defend herself when she knew his hurt and anger were fair, but it was even harder to see that hurt and anger written on his face and to know she’d put it there.
“Were youevergoing to tell me?”
His question was like a punch to her gut. For the first time, she fully understood the gravity of a decision she’d made long ago and what it meant for their relationship.
“Yes. Of course I was! I just kept waiting for the right moment…” She stopped herself from adding that one of the characters had given her that advice. “But it never seemed like the right time, and then with the wedding coming up—I decided to tell you after Julia left.”
“And while you waited for the ‘right moment,’ you thought it was fine to keep a major part of your life completely separate from me?”
“I just didn’t see any other way. Until now, I was the only person experiencing this wild thing. At least Julia can hear them now, and there’s someone else who can back me up and say they’ve seen them too.”
“But that’s not why you finally told me, is it? It wasn’t because you wanted to be open with me or because it finally seemed like the right time, Aurelia. You told me because you had to—Julia forced your hand whenshetold Antonia.”
“No, Iwasgoing to tell you! I had a plan to tell you after Julia left, and I knew I had to do it—that I couldn’t wait any longer.”
“You didn’t trust me,” Oliver continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “You didn’t have the faith in me that you’ve just been asking me to have in you.”
“You’re right—I see it all now and everything I should have done differently. But when it started, it seemed too complicated to ask someone to believe me. I didn’t even tell Antonia, and I tell her everything! Then, when we started dating, I was already so used to hiding it, I guess… it just came naturally by that point.”
“You’ve been leading this double life, right under my nose.”
“I know it feels that way, like something sneaky and deceitful, but I never intended to trick you. I thought I was protecting you—us.”
“You were protecting yourself.”
“Yeah, that too. Okay.” Aurelia nodded. All of his points were hitting home, with force. “But the risk of telling anyone, Oliver—what would you have done? Sent me off somewhere? That’s what Antonia was threatening when she found out. And what would I have told a doctor? ‘Oh, yes, I’ve been having chats with a few Dickens characters at night. That’s totally normal, though, right? Nothing to be alarmed about?’”
“I’m not saying it would have been an easy thing to do, but that doesn’t makenotdoing it right. And those chats, Aurelia… How many hours have you spent down there? Probably as much or even more time than you’ve spent with me?”
“Not more, no!”
Aurelia was shocked at the idea, but then realized that she might have spent nearly equal amounts of time with him and the characters over the years. He was at work during the day, after all, and slept through her nightly visits with them. But before she had time to process that fact, Oliver was moving on.
