“No, actually,” Ronin replies, amused. “Drama must be low this week. He’s usually here by now.”
I giggle. “Impossible. The drama meter doesn’t go low enough.”
I take another few bites of my dinner before placing the empty tray on the coffee table and pulling the laptop onto my lap, stretching out my legs and leaning back.
“How was your week?” Ronin leans in closer to his screen as he asks the question. “I know I’m not supposed to say this to a woman, but you look tired, babe.”
Sighing, I nod slowly. “I am.So tired. But we managed to have a really productive week, so hopefully it’s all worth it once this script gets finished.”
Ronin places an elbow on his desk and rests his chin in his hand. “It will be. You’ll achieve nothing less, I’m sure of it.”
I fiddle with the hem of my pajama shirt. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too, baby. So damn much.”
We sit in silence for a few moments, each of us caught up in our own heads for a beat.
“How’s the bookstore? Nora doing okay?”
“She’s doing alright, yeah. Her and Grandpa are still trying to figure out their plan for the store, though. In the meantime, she’s promoted Sydney to full-time.” Ronin drags his hand down his face, his eyes strained with exhaustion around the edges. “But she’s doing good, all things considered.”
My chest twists at his words. It wasn’t easy leaving Nora and the bookstore after I’d told her I would be there to take over for her. The guilt has been my constant companion these last couple of months. She assured me it was okay, that she understood completely why I was leaving, but that hasn’t made the feeling I let her down any quieter.
“Good,” I say lamely. “Well, give her a hug for me next time you see her, okay?”
“Sure thing, sweetheart. We have a movie date in a few days, so I’ll be sure to pass along your hug.”
A knock on Ronin’s end pierces the speakers,and Ronin dips off screen for a mumbled conversation. A beat later he returns to his chair, sinking down with another sigh.
“I’m so sorry, Mel, but I’ve gotta run early. They need me out front.” He looks so apologetic, I want to crawl inside of the computer screen so I can wrap him in my arms and comfort him.
“That’s okay, I understand.” I tap the computer screen right on top of where his face is. “I miss you, I love you, and I’ll talk to you real soon, okay?”
“Back at you, baby. Love you, Mel. Talk soon.”
The call cuts off, and I’m left sitting in my silent apartment wondering what the hell I’m even doing here when my whole entire heart is back in a tiny little flower town.
Chapter Forty-Four
RONIN
“Isee you’ve restocked my favorites. Thank you, dear.” Grandma reaches into the tote bag in the back of my truck and pulls out a box of her favorite candy, tearing the top open. She settles into the blankets and pillows I’ve propped against the cab, the window open to allow the sound of our movie to spill out into the crisp evening air.
Taking one or both of my grandparents to the drive-in over the last few years has become a tradition anytime I feel the need for a heart to heart, and today’s movie date with my grandmother is no exception. The constant ache in my chest, the emptiness that Mellie left behind, has been overwhelmingly loud these last few days. I’m struggling a whole lot more than I had anticipated with how to balance my own feelings while keeping Mel’s dreams and ambitions at the forefront.
“So, are we here to talk about Mellie today?” Grandma asks, aiming straight for the heart of the issue, as always. She has an uncanny ability to see right through me at all times.
I chuckle. “You know me too well, Grams.” Staring off into the distance, my mind isn’t really retaining what’s playing out across the oversized movie screen. Not when my thoughts are thisdistracted. This chaotic, swirling mess of emotion. “I really, really miss her.”
“Nobody said long distance was going to be easy, Ronin.”
“Believe me, I know. It’s just…harder than I thought it would be. We only had a few months together, and it feels like she’s a million miles away now.” I pick at the edge of a pillow, tugging on a loose strand. “She’s so busy, all the time, which is so great for her!” I turn to my grandmother, her gentle gaze already settled on me. “But it makes having a relationship even harder when we don’t get to talk or video call often. Some nights she’s too exhausted to even shoot me a goodnight text.”
My eyes roll up to the night sky. “I sound so needy, don’t I? I feel like I’m being selfish by wanting her attention. Sheshouldbe focusing on her job. It’s the whole reason she’s out there and not here.”
“True, it’s the reason Mellie is there. But that will never discount the way you are feeling, too, Ronin. All of these emotions inside of you—they are valid, just as Mellie’s leaving was valid.” Her knowing stare seems to see right through me, deep into the root of my pain. “You are allowed to miss her, and to want her attention. You are allowed to feel these things.” She reaches out a hand, her palm like paper against my cheek. “That willnevermake you a selfish man.”
Swallowing hard against the lump forming in my throat, all I can do is nod.
