Her only response was to thrust the toy harder and deeper, somehow knowing I needed it that way. She was angry and hurt, and I wanted her to take it all out on me.
Tears started falling down her face, and I would have given anything to be the one to wipe them away. I felt like I was losing her all over again and it fucking sucked.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered before the vibrator moved one last time and my orgasm hit me at the same moment tears started burning my eyes.
She didn’t stop thrusting the toy into me, and her tears didn’t stop their descent on her perfectly devastated face. It was breaking me all over again.
“Shit, Blair.” Her name came out in a moan, andmy eyes never left hers.
After she rang out every ounce of pleasure from my body, she slowly removed the vibrator and turned it off. I lay there unmoving, waiting for her to say something… anything.
“Can I…” I stopped myself when she got off me, and I sat up as I watched her place the vibrator on my desk.
She turned and headed for the door without another word, and I immediately stood up. “Blair, wait.”
She stopped with her hand on the doorknob and turned around to face me. Tears were still running down her face, but she made no move to wipe them away as she cleared her throat. “Feel free to tell Cara what color the vibrator was… Oh, and make sure to tell her you were the one who came in your office this time.” She turned and walked out of my life again, closing the door behind her.
I put my shorts back on and slumped on the couch. “Fuck!” I groaned out. I knew I deserved that, but it still hurt.
Chapter Forty-Four
Drea
Two weeks later
I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the signing and everything that had happened afterward.The signing itself was a success, and I was thankful to have Kaia back.
It also felt really fucking good to be honest with her and open up a little bit about my past. I could tell she appreciated it and knew I was serious about how much she meant to me. Things hadn’t been the same since she’d left, and I was proud of her for standing up and telling me how stupid I had been.
I promised to work hard and show her more than tell her how much I appreciated her, starting with letting her run the store alone for two weeks. But the events after the signing…
I couldn’t believe Blair had left, again. I mean, I could, but not in the way she did. I was blinded by my love for her, and I hadn’t thought to question any part of what was going on.
I’d hoped it meant we were going to work things out, but clearly I was wrong. I couldn’t blame her for walking out on me again, though. I deserved it. I had made her feel the same way when I’d spoken to Cara, and it was only fair that I got a taste of my own medicine.
I was packing up my office to head out to catch my flight. I wasn’t taking anything related to work this time. I desperately needed a break, and I knew Kaia could handle the store. I made sure to take the key to my drawer. Poor Kaia didn’t need to know what was in there.
I was heading home to Portland to visit my family. One week with my mother and sisters, one week with my father.
When I left my office, Kaia was talking with Daisy at the counter. It looked like they were making plans to go to the movies, or something involving ducks? My sign language was still a little rusty, and the person Kaia had hired to teach the class wasn’t starting for another month.
“Do you have everything you need? You have my number, you have access to the cameras, and you have the emergency numbers, right?” I asked Kaia as she rolled her eyes at me.
“Drea, yes, I will be fine! If you didn’t think I could do it, why did you hire me back?”
I sighed. “Of course I know you can do it. I’m just nervous. I’ve never been away from the store for this long. Two weeks is a long time, but I trust you.”
“Good! Go, enjoy your trip.”
I planned to. I needed to get out of Seattle for a little while. Everywhere I went reminded me of Blair, and I needed to clear my head. I hadn’t given up on us yet, but I thought some space would be good for both of us.
I’d respected her wishes and hadn’t tried to contact her. According to Kaia, she’d left town shortly after the book signing, and she wouldn’t tell me where she went. As long as someone knew where she was, I was happy.
It wasn’t unusual for her to skip town after a signing, or so I was told. From what Cara had told me, she used that time to get inspiration and regroup. I never asked where she would go, because at the time, I didn’t care. Now I wished I would have asked. I just needed to know she was okay.
I hadn’t heard from Cara, so I didn’t know if she was speaking with Blair again or not. I decided it was best to give everyone space. Maybe after my trip I would try to reach out, when the wounds weren’t as fresh.
“I will try. Let me know if you need anything, andtell Daisy to keep an eye on you.”
