We were days out now, and I was dreading it but also looking forward to it. I loved my job, and although the current state of it was still hanging in the balance, this was one of my favorite parts and I had worked so hard on this book. I loved connecting with readers and hearing their thoughts. I always loved when someone felt the same obsession with the characters as I did.
I hoped things were cooled down enough by now that Cara would show up. I wasn’t keeping my fingers crossed or anything, but I desperately wanted her to be there.
I doubted I would see Kaia. She had made it pretty clear she was moving on and had no intention of going. Although she did wish me luck, I hoped Daisy talked some sense into her and convinced her not to leave thingsthe way they had.
Every time I thought of seeing Drea, I wanted to curl into a ball and cry. I had missed her so much since I’d left, but I was still so fucking angry. I knew I shouldn’t be. I was stupid. So unbelievably stupid.
Going in, I knew how things were. I had heard the stories of her ex and their rocky relationship. I had also heard how she handled that breakup before me. I was so stupid to believe I could be the one to change things. I should have known that people like Drea weren’t the settling-down type.
I had been so blinded by the sudden and fiercely strong attraction to her that I hadn’t cared. I’d wanted any part of her I could have, and I’d forgotten all about my feelings and what my brain had been telling me I knew all along.
I finally pulled myself away and continued on my walk until I ended up inside the warm and inviting doors of Brewed Awakening. I had to stop and take a deep, calming breath. I almost wished I had brought my laptop to get some writing done.
“Hey, Blair! It’s so good to see you.” Rylee, the barista, was always so sweet anytime I came in.
I walked up to the counter to greet her, cautiously looking around for any sign of smooth skin and devastating brown eyes.
Her bright smile instantly turned sad as I turned back to her. “She’s not here. She actually hasn’t been in here for a while.” She let the meaning of her words hang between us like a dark cloud.
I sagged in relief and planted on the most genuine smile I could manage. “How are you, Rylee? How did the wedding pictures turn out? I cannot wait to see them!”
Her warm smile returned and I was thankful to see someone not looking at me like a sad sick puppy. “Oh my God! They are stunning, if I do say so myself. I am dying to see everyone’s reactions, but…”
“But?” I supplied, hoping she would continue.
She let out a sigh and went on. “But there are some… Well, I don’t know exactly what is going on with all of you, but what I’ve heard is…” She shook her head and started again. “Sorry, I just hate bringing up past issues, but I took some pictures of you and Drea.”
My eyes grew wide. “Oh.”
“Not that it matters anymore, but I was going to make sure you guys saw them first before I sent them to Fallon and Mackenzie. I just… You guys looked truly captivating. I couldn’t help myself.”
I could feel my eyes burning, and I had to clench my jaw to prevent the tears from falling. “No, it’s all right. Thank you for telling me. Has she…?” It hurt way too much to say her name out loud but I knew Rylee picked up on what I was asking.Has she seen them?
“I offered to show her the last time I talked to her. She refused.” She paused before her voice grew softer. “She wanted you to see them first and decide what you wanted to do with them. Please feel free to tell me to delete them if you wish. I had to… The two of you looked so happy and in love that it would have been a shame to miss out on the opportunity to capture it, but I understand whatever your decision.”
This time, clenching my jaw wasn’t nearly enough, and a few tears escaped anyway. I quickly wiped them away, but it didn’t matter. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t hide all the pain and anger I felt.
I cleared my throat and tried to gain control of myself again. “Thank you, Rylee. Looks can be deceiving, I suppose, but I appreciate the gesture, nonetheless. I would love to take a look, but I’m not sure I can right now. I’m sorry. Would you mind emailing them to me?”
She nodded. “Of course, Blair. Whatever you need. I’m sorry I brought it up. I just thought you would want to know. Can I get you anything while you’re here? A chai, maybe?”
I smiled and agreed. “That would be lovely, thank you.”
After I got my drink, I settled myself in a chair in the back corner. Luckily the coffee shop was just about dead this time of day, but it felt nice to sit somewhere that wasn’t in my office and have a change of scenery.
I watched the hundreds of people walking outside, living their own lives. I made up stories about men on their phones having important business calls on the other end, or their mothers asking when they were going to settle down.
Eventually Rylee went on break, and I invited her to sit with me. We chatted until a customer came in and she had to get back. It was nice to socialize and not think about what a mess my life had become, if only for a little while.
Chapter Forty-Two
Drea
The day of the book signing had finally arrived, and I was on edge, per usual.Usually when it came to book signings with Blair, I was stressed because I wanted to get them over with so I wouldn’t have to see her again. This time was different.
I was anxious to see her, I was nervous, and I was dreading the end. I didn’t know what was going to happen. Would she want to talk to me? Would she leave without a word? If I was being honest with myself, I was terrified she would walk out the door for the last time.
Normally I had Fallon and Kaia with me to help calm the nerves. Fallon was coming later, and Kaia…
