I hated feeling like this, and I needed my best friend to cut the bullshit and tell me the truth like I had done with her so many times before. I couldn’t imagine a life where I didn’t have Blair, so I needed to come up with a plan, and fast.
She let out a loud, dramatic sigh. “Okay, well, first things first, clean your face off. She’ll be here soon, and you have a business to run. You need to clean up and get your shit together. Handle the signing like you do every other one and be professional.”
I nodded, words failing me as I tried to calm my nerves. I knew she was right. I couldn't let Blair see me like this. I couldn’t let her see how miserable I was without her, but I wasn’t going to lie to her and make her think I’d already moved on without her.
“Get through the signing. Then when it’s all over and everyone is gone, try to talk to her, but don’t make her think she has no choice but to listen, but also make her listen. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah… kind of?” It didn’t make sense to me at all, but maybe that was because my brain had no space for anything that wasn’t daily basic functions, and Blair.
She rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Dre, do I have to spell out everything for you? Just finish the signing and then talk to her. Don’t put pressure on anything but be honest and say what needs to be said. Then let her decide what happens next and go from there.”
That sounded doable, I supposed. My nerves were running rampant, but I would have to put them aside for now because the door opened and every organ in my body stopped altogether.
Blair walked through the doors, the picture of perfection. She wore a long and flowy army-green short-sleeved summer dress. It crisscrossed in the front, over her abdomen, showing just a little bit of skin, and she looked radiant in it. She wore brown gladiator sandals with it, and it made my chest ache. She was so fucking beautiful, and she used to be mine.
Seeing her again for the first time since our breakup was like time stood still. Like I was looking at a photograph of her and not the real thing. I wanted to wrap the moment in bubble wrap and keep it safe and out of harm’s way. I never wanted anything to taint the moment.
Unfortunately I wasn’t looking at a photograph, and time resumed when Fallon started heading over to Blair. She turned her head when she noticed Fallon, and our eyes met. She took in a breath as her lips parted. Neither of us said a word as we silently stared at each other. I had to grip the counter so I didn’t get tempted to get too close.
Thankfully I could hear their conversation from where I stood. “Hey, Blair, you look amazing!” Fallon went in for a hug, and Blair looked happy for the first time since she’d walked in.
“Thank you, Fallon. Marriage looks good on you. How’s Mackenzie? How was Bali?”
Her eyes never left Fallon the entire time she gushed about her honeymoon and her life as a newlywed.
“Drea’s over there if you want to…” She trailed off as she hitched her thumb and saw me staring at them.
I hated the distance between us. I hated that I couldn’t just go over there and say something or hold her and kiss her. To tell her how proud I was of her and how amazing I thought she was.
Blair cleared her throat and still didn’t make eye contact with me. “Oh… uh, actually, I was just going to get set up at my table, if that’s okay? It’s probably best if I just stay over here and do my job.”
I turned away to grab some things from the back, giving them privacy and giving myself a chance to pull it together. I only had to get through a few hours of looking at Blair, and I could move on. I didn’t even have to interact with her. She had already been paid, and so had I. There was nothing left to say or do.
That was a fucking lie. There was a lot to say, but now wasn’t the time. I was going to give her space, and as Fallon said, I was going to get through the signing before I could eventhinkabout talking to her.
I should have known better. I was never going to make it through the signing!
Why did I ever think this was a good idea?
I should have just broken the contract and paid thecrazy fees or done whatever I had to do. Anything would have been better than staring at Blair in her element without being able to be there for her like I wanted.
I couldn’t help but stare at her and watch as she sat at the table with a genuine smile on her face that never wavered, even after talking with fans one after another. Not being able to receive that same expression made my heart ache.
She barely looked at me all day, and when she did, I was desperate to run up and hug her. To comfort her and let her know I loved her. She never smiled when she looked at me, and it broke my heart all over again every single time.
Fallon was working her ass off today, and I made a mental note to pay her accordingly. She always refused anytime I tried to pay her for helping, but somehow, I would force her to take it this time. She was running interference between me and Blair and helping with any issues that came up. Mackenzie showed up for two hours to help before she had to get to work, but luckily they actually worked the entire time and never looked freshly fucked.
The book signing wasfinallyfinishing up, and I told Fallon I was heading to my office to finish up a few things. I didn’t have the courage to say goodbye or to stick around to watch Blair leave.
Fallon gave me a look that screamed,You’re pathetic,but I didn’t have it in me to care. It hurt too much. Of course, she didn’t say anything about it and promised to give my thanks to Blair and finish up out front.
I was replying to some emails when there was a knock on my office door. “Babe, I’m not sure why you’re knocking when you can just?—”
“Hi.”
Chapter Forty-Three
Drea
