Daisy returned a few minutes later with her own tea in one hand, a throw blanket in the other, and Duke at her feet. As soon as she sat down, she covered us with the blanket and he was right in her lap.
The blanket was big and white and had chevron-style lines on it. It was my favorite one, and it was always on the couch when I came by. It was the only one I used while I was there, and it smelled like her laundry detergent: fresh lavender.
After a few minutes, Daisy tapped me on the shoulder. I hadn’t realized I was crying again until she reached up and cleared away a stray tear under my eye. I gave her a sad smile, not wanting the contact to end.
“Do you want to talk?”
I shook my head. “Not really. Can we just sit here, please?” I asked. I just wanted to sit in silence like we had so many times before, and enjoy her company.
She nodded and continued to drink her tea. I thanked her again, and petted Duke, who seemed like he sensed the air and snuggled closer to me.
I loved moments like this. Our friendship was an easy one. We could sit on the couch for hours without having a single conversation.
My mind was so numb I didn’t have anything to say anyway, and I appreciated that Daisy got it. She understood I needed the silence right now. Usually when we signed together, I still talked out loud, but obviously it was more for my sake.
Eventually, Daisy asked if I was ready for bed, and I nodded, folding up the blanket and putting it back in its usual spot on the couch.
“Are you going to be okay alone tonight?” she asked.
As much as it would’ve been nice to not be alone, I refused to torture myself by sleeping in the same bed as Daisy, so I lied instead. “Yes, I’ll be fine. Thank you.”
“Okay. If you’re sure. The guest room is yours for as long as you want it. You know that. Also, take Duke. I’ll feel better if someone’s keeping you company.” She smiled and I nodded. Too tired to say any more.
She pulled me in for a hug, and I held on too tightly. Her hugsalways grounded me, and I hadn’t needed one as badly as I did in that moment.
Her touch broke something inside me, and I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I tried to control the trembling, but it was no use. It was still too early, and I didn’t want to believe he was really gone.
Growing up, my dad had been my best friend. Even before my mom passed, I was always daddy’s little girl. After we lost mom, our bond grew stronger, and when he got sick, I didn’t hesitate to move back home and look after him.
Apparently sensing my shaking, Daisy drew circles along my back, and I took in a deep breath. On one hand, I loved that we were so close and intimate. On the other, I hated the circumstances.
I wished for nothing more than for her to hold me as a partner, and not a sad best friend who just lost her only living parent, making her an orphan at twenty-eight.
Too soon, the hug ended and I plastered on a grateful smile. I wiped my tears away and said goodnight, heading to the lonely guest room. Duke followed a few steps behind, and I left the door open for him for two reasons. So he could go in and out as he pleased, and so I could hear if Daisy got up in the middle of the night. I had an irrational fear that something bad would happen.
When I finally made it to bed, I didn’t bother getting under the covers. The room was pretty cool, and I’d have to cover up in the middle of the night, but I didn’t care. As soon as my head hit the pillow, my mind wouldn’t stop thinking of my dad, and Daisy, and I cried myself to sleep for more than one reason that night.
Chapter Two
DAISY
For the past few days,my mind had been on nothing but Kaia and helping her with the funeral. I still couldn’t believe her dad was really gone. I’d met him a few times, and he was always so upbeat and positive. He adored Kaia and I loved seeing them together.
I hated this for her. Kaia was the kindest person I knew, and she didn’t deserve any kind of suffering. She was strong, even though I kept telling her she didn’t need to be. She was stubborn that way, and I loved her for it.
She hid behind her strong exterior, but I would pass by her room at night and see her crying into the darkness, knees to her chest, body shaking. I’d let her have her moment, but eventually my heart would ache too much, and I’d end up sitting next to her and holding her, letting her cry on my shoulder. I’d always have a shoulder ready for her whenever she wanted it.
The funeral was in a few days, and everything was coming together. He’d requested to be cremated, so the funeral was just really a chance for everyone in his life to come together and say goodbye. I felt weird being there, but Kaia insisted she needed me, and who was I to tell her no?
I knew she’d be glad when it was all over. You couldn’t really start the grieving process until after you’d laid your loved one to rest.
I tried not to bring it up and to let her come to me about it, but if I didn’t interject, she’d never let me help her. I wanted to do anything I could to help take some things off her plate.
I couldn’t make the phone calls, but I could reach out to people on her behalf via social media about the funeral, and I could look up and email realtors about selling the house. That was the one thing we didn’t talk about. I didn’t want to ask her what she was planning on doing with the house until she was ready.
After lying in bed scrolling on my phone for almost an hour, I decided it was time to get the day started. I needed breakfast, and I knew Duke needed to go out. I planned to go on a walk with him later, and I wondered if Kaia would want to go. It would be good for her to get out of the house and get some fresh air.
As I made my way to the living room, my steps faltered at what greeted me. Kaia stood in the kitchen with a cup of tea, looking at something on her phone. She was wearing a powder-blue spaghetti-strap top with matching shorts. It was the first time I’d seen her in sleep clothes, and she looked… different. Not a bad different—she looked good, just not how I was used to seeing her.
