Daisy helped me stand up for myself and taught me that I deserved more than letting people walk all over me. I still struggled sometimes, but Daisy was always there.
Blair helped Drea realize she deserved to be loved and she needed to let people in more. Without those two, we would be stuck in our unhealthy rut. Drea wouldn’t be happily in love, and I wouldn’t be co-owner of the store.
The memory of how we had gotten here saddened me, but my frown turned into a smile at the thought of Daisy. My little ball of sunshine.
I was embarrassed to admit I might’ve chosen my outfit hoping she’d like it. I knew her type was soft and femme, and even though we would never be together, I couldn’t help but try every now and then. Maybe I was torturing myself, but I liked to think she noticed.
I decided on a green long-sleeved dress. It had a V-neckline and stopped mid-thigh. In the right light, you could see a faint shimmer throughout the dress. I paired it with black tights and gold strappysandals. It wasn’t anything crazy like I knew Cara would be decked out in, but it did show a little more cleavage than my normal outfit choices. It was a party, after all, and I wanted to dazzle.
I was touching up my makeup when I saw Daisy in the mirror, standing behind me. I dropped my makeup brush and turned around, thankful I was sitting down. “Wow” was the only thought that came out.
She smiled like she didn’t notice me staring and did a little twirl. Holy hell that was a dangerous dress. I’d never seen her in a dress that short. “You like? You don’t think it’s too much?”
Her dress was red and long-sleeved with a faux-fur trim around the neckline and bottom. She didn’t wear tights, and I thought I was going to pass out. Even though she was five four, that dress was short enough to make her legs look miles long. She paired it with black strappy shoes, and I groaned when my eyes traveled back up to the neckline. Her collarbone looked enticing, and her cleavage?
I swallowed. Too much for who? The party, definitely not. Me? Absolutely. I couldn’t find the oxygen that was there minutes ago. She looked like a Christmas miracle, and I was pretty sure I was drooling. I wanted to sit in her lap and tell her what I wanted for Christmas. It wasn’t even revealing, but to me, anything Daisy wore set my body on fire. What was wrong with me? I was objectifying my best friend!Pull it together, Kaia!
“No. It’s great. You look great. Are you ready to go?” I stood up at her nod and checked my makeup one last time.
I froze when I saw her coming closer behind me. When her fingers brushed my skin, I suppressed a shiver. She was only fixing the tag in the back, but that didn’t stop my brain from imagining her doing something a lot more intimate, like taking off my dress or kissing my shoulders. I shuddered but tried to stay calm until she was done.
I turned around and forced a friendly smile. “Better?”
She looked at me for a beat longer, but I didn’t know why. Her eyes traveled down my body and back up again. It was only a second, but it sent little shocks to every inch of skin she looked at. I couldn’t read the expression on her face, but it was gone faster than it appeared.
“Perfect.” She turned around and walked away without anotherword. I followed her, grabbing our coats and heading for the door, saying goodbye to Duke on our way out.
Our car rides were usually quiet, obviously, but this one felt charged. I wasn’t sure if it was just my imagination, but every time I’d glance at her, she’d be doing the same and would quickly look away. At a red light, I turned and looked at her.
“Are you okay?” I asked. “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I can totally turn around, and we can order some Thai food.”
That made her smile. I knew it would. She loved Thai food. It wasn’t my favorite, but I always ate it when she craved it. Usually during her period. Thai food and cookie dough were her lifelines.
“I’m good. I’m just thinking about Duke. I hope he doesn’t get into too much trouble. By the way, you look really good. Is that a new dress?”
She played with the hem of my dress, and I tightened my grip on the steering wheel as the light turned green. She needed to stop touching me or I was going to crash, and we wouldn’t even make it to the party.
Without taking my eyes off the road, I lifted one hand and said, “Yes.”
At another light, I dared a look at her, and my chest cracked. She was looking at me with the softest eyes and the brightest smile. I was trying to act as normal as I could around her, but it was hard.
Living together had only made things more difficult, but I was determined to go on as if nothing had changed. It was easier when I was worried about where I would live or getting things together for the funeral. Along with work, that kept me pretty busy, and I didn’t have enough time to think about my feelings for Daisy.
But now things were settling down, and I had more time to ruminate on those feelings, although I tried not to as best I could.
After the day she got sick, and I basically cried myself to sleep playing with her hair and thinking about the life I’d never have with her. I told myself it wasn’t healthy and I had to move on.
I wanted the dream of a wife and kids, and I needed to start looking for that with someone I had a chance with. Someone who wasn’t my best friend. I loved her too much to ruin our friendship by admitting my feelings and having her tell me she didn’t feel the same way.
I knew it wouldn’t be easy. Getting over someone you never had would be just as hard as getting over someone you did have, but I had to.
She was going to find someone someday, and I needed to be in the right place in life where it wouldn’t tear me up inside to see it. It would take time, but eventually, my feelings would go away. They had to.
“You don’t look so bad yourself, sunny.”
She rolled her eyes at the nickname. “Thanks.”
When we pulled up to Drea’s house, I looked at Daisy, whose eyes were so wide I had to laugh. She had never been there before, and it showed. You’d think, for a bookstore owner, she’d have a small house. Maybe with a little yard and a garage. That was not where Drea lived. She lived in a mini version of the white house, and the driveway felt never-ending.
