I nodded, excited to admit the truth. Kaia Rhodes was my girlfriend. How wild?! “Yeah. Kaia and I are together.”
“Together as in… sleeping together?”
I groaned while a small blush appeared on my face. “Very much so, Rem. Without clothes and everything,” I joked.
She rolled her eyes. “Oh my God. This is huge! Why haven’t you told us before?! The whole time you guys were together?”
“No, not the whole time. It just happened before Christmas. Will you calm down? You guys thought we were together before, so it shouldn’t be a surprise.”
“Holy shit, this is crazy! You finally asked her out? You’ve had eyes for her for years! I’m so proud of you, D!” Nova’s eyes were as big as a kid’s in a candy store.
I furrowed my brow. What was she talking about? “Technically I didn’t ask her out, but go back to the part after that. About me having eyes for her. Where did you get that idea?”
Nova gave me a pointed look. “Sweetie, since you first told us about her, I saw it in your eyes. When you talk about her, you get this look, and when you’re together, your eyes never leave her.”
“I don’t.” I didn’t know what “look” she was talking about. I acted like a normal best friend would.
Remy nudged me, and I turned to face her. “Babe, we all see it. The way you two look at each other is how I want to look at my partner someday. When we’re growing old together, I want that loving look in my eyes. When you went to the bathroom the last time we all hung out together, we were talking about you. Nothing crazy, just about your work, and the smile on her face could’ve filled the whole room. She stared dreamily toward the bathroom the whole time you were in there, and when she talked about how proud she was of you, Jesus! I still get goose bumps thinking about it.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I jumped when Nova reached over and wiped away the tears I couldn’t keep from falling down my face.
Had I really felt this strongly for Kaia the whole time and just now realized it? I thought I looked at her like any other friend did. I wasn’t intentionally looking at her like my world would be crushed if I looked away. I supposed I had been. But what she said about Kaia?
“I think you’ve had too much to drink.” I shook my head and left it at that.
Clearly, I knew Kaia had feelings for me on some level based on our current relationship. But the way Remy was talking, like she could actually love me back, was ridiculous. Impossible. Not likely.
“She’s really special to you, isn’t she?” Nova’s expression was free of judgment, and I softened. She reminded me of Kaia so much.
I nodded slowly, my smile becoming gentle and loving. “She really is. I’ve always had love for her, but now…”
“You’re in love with her,” Remy finished for me.
I wasn’t brave enough to admit it. I wasn’t brave enough to face the reality that, while I knew Kaia loved me, she’d never be in love with me. Why would she?
“And she doesn’t know, does she?”
My smile fell at Emma’s question, and I shook my head. “I can’t, guys. I just can’t. Can we move on, please? Nova, tell me what’s been going on with you.”
I didn’t want to bring down the mood, and everyone just kept looking at me. “Daisy, why haven’t you told her? Trust me, honey, that woman is so in love with you.” Remy’s face was serious and void of any sarcasm.
I shook my head. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Please, let’s just change the subject.”
“Daisy.”
“I’m scared, okay? I’m scared she won’t love me back. I’m scared she will love me back. I’m scared she’ll love me back now and regret it later down the road. I’m just scared, okay, Emma? For the love of God, can we change the damn subject?!”
Remy’s hand on my arm was the warmth I needed to settle down, if only a little. She always knew what I needed, even when I didn’t. “Oh, honey. I’m sorry. We don’t want to push you. We love you and we’re here for you, no matter what, you know that. Tell her when you’re ready, but, honey? It’s all going to work out. I know you’re feeling scared, and your feelings are valid. Things always work out the way they’re supposed to. If there’s one thing I know for certain, it’s that you and Kaia are supposed to be.”
My smile was genuine and filled with so much love. “Thanks, guys.That means a lot to me, and I hope you’re right. I don’t want to put pressure on anything. I’m just taking it one day at a time and seeing where life takes us. I really care about her, and I don’t want to lose her. Now, I’m begging, can we please talk about something else?”
Nova nodded. “Of course. Let’s talk about this sexy bookstore I’ve heard so much about. Is it true someone got caught fucking on a chair?”
A laugh escaped me before I could stop it. I was more comfortable talking about Fallon and Mackenzie’s sexcapades than my feelings for Kaia.
“Yes, that is true. Remy, you’re such a gossip.” She shrugged at my glare. “Anyway, Drea, Kaia’s former boss/now co-owner of the bookstore/friend/friend’s fiancee—she really has a lot of titles—caught them in the back room. Fallon, who is now Mackenzie’s wife, claimed Mackenzie was helping her put boxes away, but we know what box she was really putting away.” The whole table laughed, and it made my heart so happy to be with all my girls, even though I was missing my favorite girl.
We sat and talked for a few more hours until the grandma that Nova was couldn’t stop yawning, and Remy forced us all to say goodbye so she could take her home. I wasn’t mad about the night being cut short. As much as I loved my friends, I’d rather be home with Kaia and Duke.
