“You’re so fucking hot, pretty,” he breathes against me.
Even while coming down from my high, his words weave a spell through me, leaving me clinging tighter to him and so fucking happy, it’s ridiculous. I’ve spent so much time pretending I didn’t need this to not knowing how I ever fucking went withouthim.
“Love you,” I whisper again, and his arms tighten around me, pulling me closer against him.
“Love you, pretty,” he drawls back.
ANOTHER GRADUATION
Qiang’s POV
I take a breath and gaze steadily back at my reflection in the mirror. My entire ensemble is decked out in the school colors of gold and black. My black hair is down with gold strands, and ribbons braided loosely here and there. My eyes are lined with black liner with a thin line of gold around the edges. Gold mascara and black lips with a gold lip liner complete the makeup look.
My clothes are much the same—a black halter crop top with matching leggings, and my trusty black knee-high boots. I have golden hoops in my ears, another in my belly button, along with gold scarves and chains around my neck, and a gold-pleated skirt to accent my otherwise black attire.
There are so many thoughts and emotions running through my mind. The fact that I’m actually standing here getting ready to attend whatshouldbe my second graduation. All the reasons for missing out on my first one are much more on the surface than I would have expected when I started this school year, but with everything that went down, I shouldn’t be surprised at how much everything is hitting me.
I always regretted not being able to walk at my high schoolgraduation. Not just for my sake, but for my parents’ sake too, considering how much they had sacrificed to get me to that point. It still feels like what happened robbed them, but now there's the underlying understanding thatIwas robbed, too. I wasn't the cause of that loss, but equally a victim. Not that lamenting it now does much good. But knowing all of that only adds to the reflection in the mirror.
There's a lot of heavy emotion running through me. My knee-jerk reaction is to say I'm nervous, but I don’t know if that's the right word. I don't really know if there is a word to describe how I'm feeling right now. It's just a lot to be standing here finally. Not sure if every college student feels this way just before graduating, or if the feelings are amped because this is the first time I'm getting to participate in my graduation.
There’s a light knock on my studio door before my mom pops her head in. I expected my parents to come for my graduation, and honestly, I don’t know why I was so surprised when Marcus’s and Tristan’s parents showed up with them. They are like an entire unit now, where one set goes, the other two sets follow, at least as far as anything to do with their spawn is concerned. Although that isn’t completely fair either, because they have already shipped off on not just one or two, but three cruises together that were entirely spawn-free.
My mom’s grey eyes get watery as she takes me in. Her smile curves from the natural one she always wears to a sentimental one that holds the secrets to all my favorite childhood memories. She reaches out and runs her fingers down one of my loose-ribboned braids.
“Wow, look at you. So lovely,” she breathes out, her eyes focusing on mine. “Are you excited?”
I nod, smiling at her before turning back towards the mirror and leaning in to get some of my flyaway hair to lay down flat.
“Yeah, it’s nice to finally accomplish something that you and Dad can be proud of,” I tell her, focusing on my hair so she doesn’t see how deep that goes for me.
My mom’s eyes meet mine in the mirror, and I can already tell from the pensive look in them that I’ve said something wrong.
“Qiang, there’s nofinallyabout it. I’vealwaysbeen immensely proud of you. Today is a day of celebration, but not one that changes how I see you in any way.”
I sigh and turn to face my mom. “I know that, I really do, but there’s also knowing that this shouldn’t have been the first graduation of mine you’re getting to see.”
“If memory serves me right, I do remember seeing you get your first diploma, and I watched it get handed to you by a far better man than that idiot principal,” she says firmly, reminding me of the pomp and circumstance my dad had handed me the diploma with when it had come in the mail.
“Mom!” I huff out in a voice that’s a cross between exasperation and a whine, but not like a full-on whine, because I don’t actually whine.
And it’s not that I regret the memory of my dad handing me my diploma; it’s actually one of my favorite memories because it reminded me how loved I was at a time when I didn’t believe I was worthy anymore. But it still doesn’t negate the loss of what things should have been like, either.
My mom shakes her head at me, popping her hip out with enough sass to make it feel like she’s challenging me.
“No. Don’t ‘Mom’me. The only one who was wrong for you missing your first graduation was that idiot principal. Why do you think I refused to send Qi to that school? I believe in both of you getting the best education you can, and there was no way he was going to get it there with that dumbass running it. I just wish I’d seen it earlier so I could have sent you to the school I sent Qi to.”
“It’s not like they were fully unjustified in not wanting me there after that tape aired, Mom. That tape, which you had toseeby the way, which just adds to the whole ‘things I’ve done that aren’t exactly proud-parent worthy’ moments,” I point out, not even sure why I’m being abrasive all of a sudden.
My mom’s steady gaze holds mine. “Qiang, you were legally anadult, in a relationship with someone you trusted, and you were testing your boundaries and experimenting within that sphere of trust. It’s not your fault that the guy turned out to be a douche canoe, and I can guarantee you, your father and I have done much worse than making a dirty movie.”
“Mom–” I hiss out, because parental sexy times are so awesome and healthy for them, but I don’t need to know about it.
Just like I’m so fucking happy that Qi has found a safe person to explore himself with, but once again, I don’t need to know about it. Yet here we are. It’s karma for that stupid tape they had to watch, I swear.
My mom throws her hands in the air in surrender. “I’m just saying, experimenting with someone you trust is healthy. You didn’t do anything you shouldn’t have done. That Kingston tool did. Period,” she says before her eyes soften and she reaches up to caress my cheek.
“I need you to understand that I’ve always been proud of you, and always will be. I know you aren’t going to just believe me, because there is so much negativity bottled up inside of you right now. But while you sort all that out, I need you to hold onto my voice telling you with my whole chest that I unconditionally love you, and I’m unequivocally proud of you.”
