“He sees me all the time,” I tell him weakly, trying to displace the guilt, but knowing he's right and me being a shit isn't helping.
“It’s not the same. Football practice and classes aren’t–” he huffs and purses his lips for a moment. “He thinks of us all as a family, and there’s no family time. You guys were raised to understand the importance of that, and I think he’s feeling neglected.”
“He has you, doesn’t he?”
There’s a little trigger inside my head that mentally facepalms because this isn’t me at all. I’m avoiding all of this and causing hurt to one of my most important people, and instead of standing up, I’m cowering behind petty excuses and weak-ass arguments. I’m better than this, and I know I’m better than this.
“It’s not the same; I’m his boyfriend, not his brother. I’m prettysure those parties offer enough distractions that you won’t be missed as much there as you are here,” he points out with a little bit of frustration hiding behind his attempts to keep his delivery kind.
I’m hurting Tristan, and it’s pissing Qi off, and Qi is trying hard to salvage the situation without making it worse, and I’m being a dick about it.
It doesn’t help my resolve at all that Qi’s giving me these ridiculous puppy dog eyes. It’s amazing how Qi and Qiang have the same eyes, yet they aren’t remotely similar. Qi is full of sweetness, while Qiang is full of fire. Qi makes me want to pat him on the head and go ‘aw’, while Qiang makes it hard not to melt to my knees and worship them.
Sweet and spice, the Jiang siblings are definitely not made for the weak-hearted. It’s no wonder they have Tristan and me eating out of their hands.
“We’re leaving in an hour for that Italian place up the road. If you decide to come, don’t tell Tristan I said anything. He really didn’t send me up here to guilt you into coming,” he says before turning towards the door.
My throat clenches almost painfully because it would have been one thing to brush it off like Tristan was teasing and sending Qi up to guilt-trip me. But if Qi went behind his back to do it, then that means Tristan’s feelings aren’t just alittlebit hurt. I don’t like that at all, and I don’t like that I’m the cause.
One of the biggest reasons Qiang and I both agreed this was off the table was to avoid alienating our most important people. I seem to keep losing the plot.
“Your secret is safe with me, Qi. I’ll be down in an hour,” I tell him, and his responding smile is the most ridiculously adorable thing I’ve ever seen in my life. With smiles like that, it’s no wonder he brought my ice-prince championship-winning quarterback bro to his knees.
Ilove the Italian place up the road from us. Unlike most Italian restaurants I’ve been to, this one is laid out more like a sports bar than the romantic, dimly lit places that make me want to fall asleep. This place is lively, though. More like a pizza bar with pasta than a formal Italian dining. The portions are huge, the chatter a bit louder, with a few TVs tucked behind the bar playing some of the bigger games.
Tristan has a wide-ass grin on his face that he’s had since he realized I was joining them tonight. Of course, I was immediately drawn to Qiang, who looks amazing as always. I love their style. It’s eclectic and changes from day to day, and yet somehow still manages to be so completely them. Ever-changing, constantly flowing from one concept to the next, never staying steady or still, but still always somehow uniquely them.
Today they’re a bit more punkish. An artfully tatteredSlipknott-shirt that hangs off one shoulder and cuts off a few inches shy of a black pleated skirt they have on over a pair of leggings. The look is topped off with a chain wrapped around their stomach and hooked to a belly-button piercing, with metal studs accenting the skirt, and a pair of heavy black boots. Their hair is down and fluttering around their face in layered curtains, and their makeup is a simple, toned-down shimmer that draws the eye to their beautiful brown eyes and pouty pink lips.
Not sure if it was a blessing or a curse to be sitting across from Qiang. I assumed Tristan and Qi would want to sit together, but instead of Qiang slipping into the booth beside me, it was Tristan. Now I can't seem to stop trading furtive glances with Qiang.
I can’t help it, really. Their eyes pull me in and hold me captive. I try to resist, but I never last longer than a handful of seconds before my eyes are back to caressing their face.
The softness of their skin, the tiny mole just above their lip, or another one just outside their eyelid. The way their lashes flutter and rest against their cheekbone, and the way their hair curls slightlybeneath their ears. And especially the way their cheeks darken every time they catch me staring.
No reprimands, no disappointed or annoyed sighs, simply acceptance of my admiration with just the slightest tinge of shy reciprocation. It makes me melt, and soar. It captivates me and holds onto me.
“Is that Gio?” Qi's voice breaks through Qiang's and my game of catching each other's eyes and flitting them away.
I follow Qi's gaze and land on a familiar head of wavy, light-brown curls and big blue-green eyes. Definitely Gio, the first-string quarterback and offensive captain for the football team. His arm is wrapped around the shoulders of a pretty girl with amber eyes and warm russet-brown skin.
He must have overheard Qi because he turns his head towards our table and heads over to us with the girl in tow.
"Hey!” He reaches over and fist-bumps everyone at the table.
“I didn't expect to run into you here,” Tristan says, making small talk. Quite a feat for him, since he's more about ignoring people than paying attention, but with Gio as his football mentor and Qi slowly getting him to open up more, he's been steadily improving at being friendly.
The girl flicks her head towards Gio with affection. “Gio rescued me from failing my first biochem assignment, so I’m treating him to dinner as a thank you.”
Gio rolls his eyes. “You wouldn’t have failed; you knew the material.”
Her face lights up with a smile. “Well, I wouldn’t have done as well, then,” she says conclusively.
Gio laughs before turning towards the table. “This is Imani Davis. She's my biochemistry lab partner. This is Qi, who I’m sure you already know since you’re both on the cheerleading squad, and this is Tristan and Marcus, two of the new freshmen players on the team.”
“You’re definitely one of the best cheerleaders on the team. Good to see you, Imani,” Qi nods in her direction.
“Well, I'll graciously take that compliment since you're one of the best freshmen I've seen join the team in my three years here so far,”she says with a friendly smile. Qi blushes at the compliment, and Tristan taps the top of Qi's hand in a silent agreement.
