“It’s been years, Kingston, you have no idea who I am anymore.”
A teasing smile curls across his face, one I know well, even though the butterflies it used to ignite in my tummy have been replaced by a wave of revulsion.
“We could change that. Keep it on the downlow. No one has to know; it would be like old times. I miss how desperately you used to beg for my cock,” he murmurs as he steps suggestively into my space.
I immediately raise my hands to create a barrier between myself and his advances.
“Eighteen-year-old me was much easier to impress than twenty-two-year-old me. You were the best of the very slim pickings I had back then; however, the options have grown exponentially since then. Not to mention my experience, and knowing what a good dicking down actually feels like now. So you can keep your dick to yourself; I don’t even need to make an effort to find a better option,” I respond coldly at his suggestion that has bile creeping up my esophagus.
He slowly steps into my space as I step out of it until my back hits a wall. For fuck’s sake, I need to pay better attention to my surroundings.
It’s usually Marcus who catches and traps me like this, but I’ve never felt anything but completely safe, albeit a bit unhinged becauseI’m not used to that feeling, or really anything that my heart does whenever Marcus gets that close.
However, there is no trace of that safety right now with Kingston doing this. Instead, my body is hyperaware that it’s in danger, and it’s firing synapses that are igniting my fight or flight receptors.
“Have it your way. I was hoping you’d be morepliantif we were friendly, but since you want to do it the hard way…” he trails off.
His face changes from one of feigned charm to reveal the disdainful monster underneath that he hides so well.
“Breathe a word of our history, and I’ll destroy this cozy little existence you’ve managed to build for yourself over the years. I’ll take you, your little brother, and your whole goddamned family down, so keep your catty little mouth shut,” he growls.
I’m so vividly thrown back in time that my brain glitches out for a moment, trapped between the past and the present, and if it weren’t for the wall behind me, I probably would have ended up in the ground.
“Trust me, the last thing I want anyone here to know is that I ever had anything to do with you. Stay the fuck away from me.”
I somehow manage to pull every fiber of fight left in my body to keep myself standing with my head held high, even though everything in me is screaming to run.
A flash of something that looks like lust passes through his eyes, and my stomach twists as his lips curl into an unfriendly smile.
“Such a shame,” he drawls, lifting his hand to caress the edge of my mouth.
I wrench my head out of his grasp quickly, and he chuckles with dark amusement.
“You’ve got more fight in you now than you did back then. Sure, you don’t want me to tame you?” he purrs suggestively before leaning in like he’s going to kiss me.
My brain screeches to a complete halt with the most resounding ‘NO’ it’s ever cried, and before I even make the conscious decision to do so, my knee is coming up fast and hard. A swift knee to the groin and Kingston falls to the ground in pain.
My lips curl up in a snarl as I step back out of his grasp. “You have no idea who you’re dealing with anymore. You couldn’t tame me if you tried. Touch me again, and I’ll detach your balls from your body,” I growl before getting as far away from him as possible.
Idon’t know how I managed to square off with Kingston as well as I did, but all the reserves I had built up were completely depleted the moment I was out of his line of sight. I barely made it to the nearest restroom before emptying the contents of my stomach.
Why here? Why now?
For the most part, I thought I’d moved on from this. I rarely ever think about it anymore at all, except on the rare occasions I get a little too chummy with my hook-ups, a little too enamored, or shy around them. And even aside from the first time the memories tried to resurface with Marcus, they’ve stayed mostly silent since then, even though I’ve been feeling more for him than I ever have for anyone else.
If Ihadn’tbeen over it, they would have been kicking and screaming with full forcebecauseof Marcus.
Setting aside all the stupid excuses I've been using to deny that I have feelings for Marcus, there’s no denying, even now, while completely spiraling from all of this shit, that I’m falling harder for him than I ever have for anyone. I’ve only been denying it tooth and nail because I’m drop-dead terrified that he’ll turn out the same as Kingston, or that he’ll get too close and lose interest, and my heart will shatter all over again.
While I’ve spent way too long imagining the million different ways of letting Marcus in and then having it all fall apart and break me all over again, it never crossed my mind that instead of those completely feasible scenarios, the universe would align to bring my worst nightmare back in the flesh to remind me of the price of letting someone in.
My stomach churns sickeningly, and I desperately need to get outof here and get home. I don’t know if I can get off this floor, though. My head is spinning, and my knees are weak. It took every bit of physical strength I had to uphold the mental toll of maintaining a resting bitch face until I could get away from him.
Newsflash: when you’re facing down your past demons, maintaining a resting bitch face isn’t very restful.
Qi, Tristan, and Marcus are all in practice by now. Not that any of them wouldn’t come running if they knew I needed them, just that their phones are in lockers and not with them, so I have no way to reach them. I lean my head back in defeat for a moment and think of what I would have done last year, before they were all here with me, and Natasha’s face pops up into my mind.
She’s the closest friend that I’ve made since starting at ISU. We met at the beginning of our first year here, when we almost hooked up at a party and realized our instant chemistry was definitely not sexual. However, she became my first friend and sounding board. She’s the only person here, aside from Qi, Tristan, and Marcus, who knows anything about Kingston at all. If anyone is gonna understand me right now, it’s gonna be her.
