“I’ve told you several times, you are one of my most important people. You matter to me, and I don’t want to leave you alone, whether you tell me what’s going on or not. I’m staying with you until Qi gets home,” I tell them firmly.
Qiang closes their eyes in annoyance, but I can see the flutter of relief in their body language as well. They didn’t want to be alone any more than I wanted to leave them alone. However, there’s still that layer where they sincerely believe they aren’t worth anyone’s extraeffort, which makes it impossible for them to just graciously accept the company.
“You’re a pain in the ass,” they mumble, and I have to bite back the snicker because their comment is so deeply in line with my inner musings.
“I mean, I can be…” I tease lightly.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake…” they huff out at the suggestive quip.
I turn and give them a wide-eyed grin at their choice of words. It takes them a moment for their eyes to widen, and I know what they said finally clicks.
“Oh my god, if it weren’t for the gutter, your brain would be homeless,” they huff exasperatingly at me.
I tilt my head back and laugh at that while we pull into the driveway.
HORRIFIC PROPOSITIONS
Marcus’s POV
“How much do you know about what happened back then?” Qiang says after a while.
I didn’t push, just like I said I wouldn’t. When we got home, Qiang curled up on the couch, and I got us both drinks before joining them. I had been idly playing a game on my phone when they finally broke the silence.
“Not much. Just the parts you’ve told me, and that Qi got into a fight with Kingston after he outed you at school,” I respond, putting my phone down and focusing my attention on Qiang.
Can’t really say that wasn’t where it was before, since I was paying more attention to Qiang’s facial expressions and body language than to my phone, but that’s neither here nor there.
“The fight happened the same day Kingston aired that stupid video. I had run to the market down the road from our house. I don’t even know what it was for anymore. On my way back home, Kingston showed up and pushed me into the alleyway behind the building. At first, he was just making a bunch of threats about what would happen if I didn’t keep my mouth shut. The mask he’d worn around me for so long that I’d fallen for was gone, and I was seeing histrue face.
“The sad part is, I recognized it. As much as I want to say he completely hoodwinked me, it’d be a lie. I knew him for what he was, and I trusted him anyway. It was absolutely reckless, and there was just nothing that happened that should have come as a surprise.”
I reach over and run my thumb across the knuckles of their hand. “Qiang, we’ve been over this. Putting your trust in someone and having that trust taken for granted simply means you are brave, and he is scum for taking the very best gift you could have given him and stomping it into the ground. If anyone should feel like a stupid-idiot-schmuck, it’s him, not you. Stop taking his share of the blame and carrying it on your shoulders.”
Qiang sighs and looks over at me, with both defeat and acceptance of the defeat in their eyes. “Part of me knows that, Marcus. It really does. But part of me just can’t let go of the amount of damage trusting him caused, especially knowing that I should have known better.”
“I think that’s you trying to hold onto some semblance of control.”
Their brow furrows at that, and I can see the wheels turning, but they aren’t producing any understanding of what I meant.
“What?”
I angle my body more towards them and take one of their hands in mine, brushing my thumb along the back of their hand as an anchor for both of us.
“He obviously did something, or many things, I’m sure, that gave you adequate reason to believe him and trust him. So when the video, the lies, the manipulation, and the fallout came about, they were all things outside your control. So, reaching out to snag some semblance of blame and clinging to it is your subconscious trying to have some modicum of control over something you had no control over. You can’t be a victim if you were part of the crime. And sometimes admitting you were a victim and understanding that someone had that much control over you is scarier than burying the trauma in a corner of your head and not facing it.”
Qiang frowns at that, their eyes focused back on that silly loose string that, if it weren’t providing them the comfort the distraction of having it there gave them, I would have cut it off a while ago.
“Grant said something similar as well,” they say quietly, and I know they’re processing what I said, so I leave the concept to percolate while readdressing the more immediate topic at hand.
“So what happened in the alleyway?”
They take a deep breath, as though steadying themself. “At first, it was just a series of threats. What you’d imagine, you know. Don’t tell anyone, it never meant anything, you were just a fun time until you weren’t, the typical stuff,” they say, their face twisting as the words work themselves out of them.
“None of that is typical, but go on,” I point out, wanting to point out their habit of lightening things that shouldn’t be lightened.
Qiang rolls their eyes and huffs out a sardonic chuckle at my interruption. “Qi showed up while Kingston had me backed against the wall. He’d never liked Kingston, and he was already pissed about everything that had happened, so it took no provocation at all for Qi to lose his shit, and Kingston was in no way trying to de-escalate the situation either.
“It was infantile to watch Kingston deliberately rile Qi up, but it worked. Qi was fourteen, full of hormones and really fucking pissed off for my sake, so it spiraled out of control fast.
