“Definitely will do that after we talk.”
Tristan nods with approval clear in his eyes.
“I know where Cade needs to look,” I tell him, changing the subject to the more urgent task at hand.
Tristan frowns. “That sounds ominous.”
I look at Tristan, knowing I’m about to ruin his whole fucking day. Not only because Qi was on that man’s radar, but because ofwhyQi was on that man’s radar. It’s one thing to know people find your adult partner attractive; it’s something else entirely to learn that old men were ogling your partner when they were still a teenager.
“You’re gonna need to sit down for this; you are not gonna like what I’ve got to say.”
His frown grows wary as he moves to the kitchen island, and I follow him to fill him in on everything I’d learned.
TRICK-OR-TREAT
Qiang’s POV
Tonight is the Zeta Tau Xi House’s Halloween trick-or-treating event, and I’ve pulled out all the stops with my costume. Partly because I’m trying to keep my mind off a million things, most notably the ugly, jealous throb at the sight of Marcus with Imani today.
She was by his side, telling him something with embellishment and excitement, which had him tipping his head back in laughter. He was so happy and carefree, and it was such a terrible slap in the face because I’ve never given him that. I’ve given him anger, rage, boundaries, and confusion. Andnow–now that I’m starting to get my head screwed back on straight–I’m seeing how amazing of an opportunity I had, and watching it blossom so amazingly under someone else’s attention.
I need to drive it out of my mind, though, because Marcus, Tristan, Qi, and I are going to this event as a group. I don’t know if Imani is planning to join us, and if she does, I don’t want to look green around the edges. Green has no place in tonight’s costume.
Jealousy aside, I've been working on this costume for weeks, so pulling out all the stops tonight is more about giving thismasterpiece its well-deserved moment in the spotlight than anything else. While my style is everyday stunning, it’s fun to explore the creative depths makeup can reach with color and embellishment from time to time.
Thanks to Natasha, I have a costume that will draw everyone’s eyes straight to me. Stunning, eye-popping, colorful,confident—many things I’m not, but the armor lets the world know I’m out of its grasp,untouchable,unaffected.
Natasha is studying fashion, and she’d started making a cloak of orange, red, and black feathers. Overall, the look she was going for was never gonna work, and I’m not surprised she abandoned it. However, that doesn’t mean it couldn’t be utilized in another way. Taking my concept to her and spending hours mixing her creativity with my sense of color, we came up with an ornate set of phoenix wings.
No one has seen the finished product yet except for Natasha and me. And as a massive thank you for letting me reshape and use her idea, I modeled it for her so she could use the concept in one of her classes, which she promised me she wouldn’t present untilafterHalloween.
It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve been her model, nor will it be the last. The hours spent with her creating masterpieces and then taking pictures are among the most carefree I get to spend away from the harsh realities outside our studios.
I take a deep breath and one last long lingering glance in the mirror before straightening my shoulders and heading towards the stairs to make my grand entrance, because with the amount of ‘hurry up’ texts I’ve already received from Qi, there’s no way they aren’t all gathered downstairs waiting for me. One would think after the countless times I’ve told Qi he can’t rush a masterpiece, he’d get it by now, but he’s still as impatient as he’s ever been.
I try, Ireallytry to focus on anything other than Marcus’s reaction, but I fail miserably. I fail so hard that I question whether I really even tried or if I’d justintendedto try and drove right by it without slowing down.
And a huge part of me is so damn smug at the way he takes me andmy stunning phoenix costume in. Poetic, really, since a huge part of me feels like every barrier in my mind I’ve ever built has come crumbling down, and I’m rebuilding myself from the ashes.
Aside from the sweeping pair of feathered wings, I’ve put a temporary orange tint in my hair to give it just a touch of bronze, and then pulled it back into a ponytail and teased it up to look like a phoenix’s head plumage. Black winged eyeliner sweeps across my eyes with a mixture of reds and oranges on my lids and lips. I’m wearing a red cut-off shirt with black suspenders that are attached to an orange-and-black plaid skirt, along with a flame-colored belly button ring and my trusty knee-high black boots.
Of course, Marcus's reaction doesn't disappoint at all. His eyes pop, then slowly move, taking me in from my face down to my toes, back to my face. The slow drag of his gaze is so heavy and heated it's almost a physical caress. I watch his Adam's apple bob slowly as though there's something caught in his throat before his eyes meet mine with that desire and heat I've been trying so hard not to put any stake in anymore.
The vanity in me preens with delight at his obvious appreciation, but it does little to soothe the ache from seeing him with Imani earlier. I try so hard not to let it make my face fall, though, because I knowI’mthe one to blame for that. He wanted me badly enough to put up with so much, and I’m the one who drove the final nail into that coffin.
Doesn’t help at all that he looks absolutely mouthwatering in a red zoot suit from the Jazz and Swing Era. He’s got a black shirt tucked into the red suit, a red-and-gold tie, and a red fedora with a gold stripe wrapped around it. I’m not even gonna pretend like I don’t low-key love that we are in somewhat matching colors.
His eyes meet mine, and there’s so much appreciation and heat in the way he’s staring at me that I have to look away. Neither of us is the type to play around when one or both of us are in any semblance of a relationship with someone else. Not that either of us has much practice at relationships, but I still know neither of us would cross thatline and hurt someone like that. Looking and longing just makes that shit harder, so I focus on Qi instead.
He and Tristan dressed up as Malec. I shouldn’t be surprised at all that these two are going with a couple's costume. They are all about the traditional couple goals every time I turn around. If they can find a way to make something coupley, regardless of how independent it is, trust me, these two will find a way.
It’d be nauseating if it weren’t for how much I love seeing Qi so happy, and of course, that little nudge of jealousy I’m trying so damn hard to ignore. Wasn’t it just a few months ago that I was trying to convince Marcus that I wasn’t jealous of what they have because I don’t want the same things?
Qi’s eyes flit to mine, and he looks at me curiously before his mouth spreads into a timid smile. Now that I’ve learned to drop so much of my armor at home, it’s easier for him to see when I’m spiraling over something.
He spent the night with me after that last therapy session, not wanting to leave me alone, as if the incident was recent instead of years old. He was frustrated, angry even, in the beginning because I’d faced all of that alone. I tried to point out that if I’d involved him, I’d have been thrusting him right into the path of a predator that already had sights on him, but he said I’d already decided to leave him out of it when I’d taken the flash drive to begin with.
There’s also a bit of lingering blame because he thinks the worst of what happened would have never happened if he’d kept his hands to himself. Kingston would have crowed and then left us alone after he got his last digs in, and we all would have moved on without the additional layers of horror.
