His eyes flash, and his mouth dips down into a frown as he sits up and looks at me with confusion and frustration. So, maybe hedidsomehow encrypt it, and he realizes what I’m trying to say.
“You like him? Likelikelike him? Who the fuck is he? It’d better not be fucking Cade! I swear on my life, Qiang,everyoneknows he has his sights set on someone else,” he grates out angrily.
I guess he didn’t get it after all, but his frustration has him moving to get up, and I haven’t said what I needed to yet, so I push forward and throw my leg over him to keep him here.
His eyes widen as I push him back to the couch. We’re almost nose to nose with me straddled over him, and in all the ‘way closer than we ever had any reason to be’ positions we’ve been in before, this is by far the most intimate.
But my frustration at him turning this conversation down a completely different road than where it was supposed to go has me frustrated.
“Oh my god, do you even realize itcan’tbe Cade if everyone suspects that he has a crush on someone else, which means he’s not in a relationship, thereforecan’tbe in a position where he’s being cheated on? If you’d try tonotact like an overbearing, jealous asshole for thirty seconds, then you’d get that I’m trying to tell you Imani is cheating onyou!” I hiss out, my frustration taking away every attempt I was going to make to cushion the blow.
Marcus lets out a loud puff of air before he tilts his head to the side like a confused puppy.
“Imani? Cheating onme?” he asks, trying to make sense of what I said before his eyes light up with pure joy. “Wait a minute, so that meansI’mthe one you like?”
I sit back on my heels just a little bit. “Seriously,that’sall you took from that?”
His hands glide slowly up my thighs until they’re wrapping around my waist. Shivers run up my spine at the intimacy of the touch, while his eyes hold mine, searching for confirmation of his summation.
“What else was I supposed to take from that?”
I drop my hands onto his shoulders with a light slap of frustration. “That Imani is cheating on you!”
Marcus bites his lower lip for a moment, his eyes taking me in, and the flirty gaze he hooks me with all the time is taking over his entire face.
“Imanican’tcheat on me since we were never together, Qiang.”
I swallow hard, his eyes undoing me in so many ways, because if what he’s saying is true, and he’s so close to me like this, with his skin kicking up the temperature of mine, and there are no more reasons left to say no…
“No, but you are,” I practically whisper, searching his eyes for answers to all the misconceptions I’ve been holding on to for the last couple of weeks.
“You have been. The rumors, and the dinners, and the late-night study sessions, and for fuck’s sake, you were just with her this morning, all happy and laughing like, like you were–”
Marcus’s fingers dig into my hip bones, and it has me cutting myself off mid-rant so I can focus on not letting out a mewl in response to the pressure and try to wrap my head around how far off track this conversation went.
“For fuck’s sake, Qiang,” Marcus growls in frustration. “The rumors? Like the ones that are floating around about us, too. The dinners? Like, I go out with you, Tristan, and Qi all the time too, or how she and I spend late nights in the librarystudyingbecause we have multiple classes together. I told you before that we’re just friends. She makes me laugh because she’s myfriend; she’s fucking funny and fun to be around, and she's a really good listener. That doesn’t have to mean I’m fucking her or that Iwantto fuck her, or that anything beyond friendship exists between us,” he says solidly, his eyes boring into mine.
“But–”
“Butwhat, Qiang?” Marcus interrupts, his eyes flashing again with so much sincerity that my chest is about to explode because it can’t contain the amount of emotion flooding it right now.
“How do you seriously expect me to look at anyone else when you’re right in front of me? Don’t you get it? You obliterated every other fucking human on the planet just by breathing in my space. There’s no room for anyone else. Just you,” he says, pulling me deeper into his lap and bringing our faces closer together, our eyes locked on one another as if our lives depend on it, like every moment we’ve ever lived was always leading us right to this moment.
My heart gets stuck in my throat. It’s like I forget how to breathe as his words hit me. I could laugh, I could cry, I could do just about anything if I could somehow pull myself out of this perfect suspension of time. But I can’t let go of his gaze. The sincerity of it, the warmth, and even the fear there. The fear thatI’veput there.
A wave of remorse, of self-doubt, hits, and part of me thinks I should back away. I’ve done enough damage. But maybe if I give myself a chance, I could put it right. Iwantto put it right. And if he still wants me this much, then is it so wrong to try? For him, for me, for us?
The question tugs me forward, my face instinctively inching closer to his until I can feel his breath on my mouth. This moment isn’t about rules, because I already know I’m ready to breakallof mine for him.
Victory flashes in his eyes for a moment before something vulnerable kicks in, and he reaches out to glide his fingers under my chin, his thumb lightly tapping along my jawline, stopping me from closing the rest of the gap between us.
“You know what this means to me. If it doesn’t mean the same to you, then don’t. I’m not doing a very good job at giving you up as it is, and I really don’t think I’ll be able to come back from tasting you now and having you pull back from me again.”
I reach up and caress the hand he still has resting on my face. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been a fucking mess, and I’mstilla fucking mess, so I can’t guarantee that I’m always going to be rational, because Ihonestly don’t think that’s one of my superpowers,” I say before taking a deep breath and pulling in every ounce of want and courage I can possibly find inside myself to tell him what I want. To say the words that will put my heart in his hands, and step off the edge I’ve clung to so hard for so long.
“But I want to try with you. I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you, Marcus,” I breathe out, stepping from the edge and falling the rest of the way into him, knowing he’ll catch me.
STAY
