The motion makes me dizzy; it makes me desperate for more, and it makes me realize exactly how pent up I am, and how the star in every fantasy I’ve had for months is lying beneath me.
I lean down and kiss them briefly, bringing their attention back to me and not on what my hands are doing.
“I’m not always the most tactful person, but are there words or body part names that bother you? I don’t want to say the wrong thing.”
Qiang gives me a long look, as though they are unused to people caring enough to ask such a basic, necessary, yet sadly often-overlooked question.
It’s a shame how few take other people’s feelings into account, especially when it’s their lovers, temporary or otherwise.
They bite their lip for a moment before meeting my gaze and slightly shaking their head. “My dysphoria was wrapped more in learning to understand how wrong society’s need to assign genders to non-gendered things is, and having to break down those nonsensical standards in my head, than anything towards myself physically. I have male parts and female features. I have always been partially all genders, but never fully a specific one. So you can call my body parts whatever you want unless it’s just overly cringy ick words like asscunt.”
The word jars me, and I frown at it. “Asscunt?” I ask, realizing that Qiang most likely said it just to lighten the mood.
Qiang shrugs, amusement clear in their eyes. “It’s been said.”
“Please tell me you didnotactually fuck that person,” I wrinkle my nose with distaste.
Qiang laughs. “I did not; the word was cringy enough to kill the mood.”
I roll my eyes and laugh with them. “So dicks, tits, ass, and holes are all good?”
Qiang smiles up at me. “Pretty much. Andcocks, I love me some cocks. Really interested in yours right now, but maybe we should–” they start to say, and I sit back up a bit because I probably am letting my dick control way too much of the situation right now.
“We should slow down, right?” I finish what they’re saying before they can. “Too much too fast, sorry. I can behave, take it slow,” I rush out, a little panicked that I might be ruining this before we even get started, when Qiang starts laughing.
“If we moved any slower, we’d be going backward. I think at certain points weliterallywere going backward,” they argue, and it has my heartbeats slowing back down, the panic subsiding thatno, I didn’t cross any lines,yet.
“My fault, of course–” they breathe under their breath, and I shake my head because they’ve had very real, very legitimate reasons for hesitating, and none of them are things they should feel guilty about at all.
“No, pretty, never your fault. This is something new, something huge; you’re allowed to take it at your pace,” I reassure them.
Qiang’s brow furrows at that, and their hands reach up to caress my face. I lean into their hand and bask in their warmth. “And yours too.”
A light laugh escapes me, taking some of the tension in my body away with it. “If we’d gone at my pace, you’d already be knocked up.”
Qiang’s face scrunches up with confusion. “That’s not–huh?”
I reach up and scratch my eyebrow awkwardly because afterpining for months to have my fantasy beneath me, half-dressed, andoh-so-willing, this conversation is just getting ridiculous.
“Uh, yeah. It’s something I picked up from Qi’s human-wolf shifter novels.”
Qiang’s face stays confused for another beat before it relaxes, and they start laughing. “Oh my god, I can’t believe he got you to read those too.”
I shake my head. “He didn’t; just he and Tristan keep talking about how they’re role-playing shifter knotting while cockwarming and–you know what, never mind.Inever felt the need to know any of that, and as Qi’s sibling, I’m sureyoudidn’t need to know that,” I breathe out as my ridiculousness takes on a whole life on its own.
I want to whine about the fact that I’ve never been awkward in this department at all, but rationally, it makes sense. Qiang isn’t just a hook-up; itmattersto me what they think of me tonight and definitely in the morning. So I’m nervous, really fucking nervous, and so fucking needy.
Qiang laughs. “Okay, well, it’s not like I haven’t heard most of it before. But before we got sidetracked, I wasgoingto say we should take this upstairs. As much as it’d be kind of deserved for Qi or Tristan to walk in on us after the gratuitous amount of making out, and oversharing their random ass, rarely ever actually sex-related, but still sexual as fuck kinks, he’s still my brother.”
I nod, elated that they still want this, and relieved that they aren’t calling out my weirdness at the moment.
“Fair enough. Lock your legs around my waist,” I tell them, tapping them lightly on the thigh.
Qiang huffs and rolls their eyes. “Shocking as it might seem, despite having about twenty-one years of successful practice at it, I am perfectly capable of walking.”
I have to bite back a laugh because leave it to Qiang to take the simplest of instructions and turn it into something to get all prickly about. I’d complain if it weren’t for secretly loving this side of them. I don’t know what it is about prickly Qiang that gets me going, but it’sone of my favorite versions of them, and I might have an unhealthy obsession with finding new ways to bring it out as much as possible.
“I didn’t say you couldn’t. But I’ve spent months wishing to have you wrapped around me, and now that I’ve got my dreams in my arms, I’m not ready to let go.”
