“We can fix that.”
“What about me says I’m outdoorsy?” Evan frowned. “Don’t answer that. Clearly you’ve been thinking about this.”
“Not really.” CJ shrugged. “It popped into my head when your face did that thing when your name was announced.”
“What thing?” Evan was instantly sorry he asked because he really didn’t need to know.
“That face you make when you’re being forced to do something and you’d rather have a root canal,” CJ said like it was common knowledge.
“I don’t have an expression for that,” Evan protested.
CJ gave him a long look that was laced with fondness. “You absolutely do.”
Evan shook his head, but he couldn’t deny that the knot of dread was already starting to loosen at just the thought of not going. “A cabin,” he repeated.
“A few days out of the city,” CJ said, and the longing in his voice made Evan want to say yes immediately. “No practice, none of the guys bugging us, no baseball. Just us.”
Evan looked down at his plate. It was too easy to picture. Quiet mornings with coffee, on a deck overlooking trees, with no schedule to follow and a few days where they didn’t have to pretend all the time. It sounded dangerous.
It sounded perfect.
Evan took a bite of his food to buy a moment before speaking. “Somewhere with air-conditioning,” he finally said.
CJ’s grin broke wide and triumphant across his face. “Is that a yes?”
“It’s a yes.”
CJ didn’t hesitate. He had his phone out and was already halfway into planning mode, muttering to himself about weekday availability and whether Evan owned anything remotely resembling hiking clothes. His energy filled the room with easy warmth, and Evan leaned back in his chair to watch him. For so long, everything between them had felt like balancing on a knife’s edge. One wrong move would slice them apart and send them back to where they’d been before.
But now CJ was talking about finding a place they could go have a few days that belonged only to them, and something that felt like hope settled in Evan’s chest. He took another bite of food and continued watching CJ plan. Maybe it wouldn’t be easy, and maybe they weren’t meant to last, but for the first time since they’d started this thing, Evan let himself want it anyway.
21
CJ
CJ foundthe cabin a little after two in the morning, after Evan had left him wrung out and boneless, staring at the ceiling of his bedroom while he tried to remember how to breathe. They’d ended up in Evan’s bed after a quick kiss while washing dishes turned into neither of them being able to stop. By the time they were finished, the sheets were twisted and pillows had been thrown to the floor, and Evan was lying half across him with his eyes closed and his heart pounding beneath CJ’s palm.
In the satisfied silence that came afterward, CJ’s only thought had been that he should probably sleep.
Except, then Evan had turned his head and kissed his chest. “You still awake?” he’d murmured.
“Barely.”
“Good.” Then he’d kissed CJ again, slowly and deeply, and sleep had become impossible for several reasons.
Eventually Evan had fallen asleep, but CJ hadn’t been able to turn his brain off, which was how he’d found himself wide awake at two in the morning, laptop balanced on his knees as he searched for the perfect place. Some were too modern and looked designed for people who wanted to say they’d goneto a cabin without actually going to a cabin. Some were too rustic, with antlers and plaid furniture, and the sense that running water might not be consistent. There had been one that was a possibility, but it didn’t have the air-conditioning Evan requested. It did have a taxidermized bear wearing sunglasses beside the front door, though, and CJ stared at that one for a full minute.
“Tempting,” he whispered with a small snicker. Then he closed the tab.
That’s when he found it. A cedar-sided cabin tucked into the hills outside Idyllwild, set back from the road and surrounded by pines. There were large windows and a stone chimney that led to a stone fireplace in the living room. The cabin’s kitchen had been recently renovated, which was important because Evan liked to cook and CJ liked to watch him. Two bedrooms to keep up appearances and a hot tub because Evan in swim trunks—or nothing at all, hopefully—was important too.
As he’d done with every other promising listing, CJ tried to imagine Evan there, and it was too easy to see with this house. Evan barefoot in the kitchen making coffee. Or on the deck in the early morning, hair a mess from sleep, wearing one of CJ’s hoodies and wrapped in a blanket. The fact that it was available for the days they needed it felt like it meant something, so CJ booked it before he could think his way out of it. The confirmation email hit his inbox within minutes, and CJ exhaled. Now they just needed to make it through the next week. Seven straight games and the grind that went with them, but at least they were all at home.
The official reasonswere released by the team in a statement just before ten in the morning, three days after the full All-Star rosters were announced.
The San Diego Barracudas announced today that catcher Evan Delgado will not participate in this year’s All-Star Game due to knee inflammation. Outfielder Chris Hartman has also withdrawn as a precaution because of mild oblique tightness. Both players are expected to return to the active roster following the All-Star break.
He stood barefoot in his kitchen, reading the announcement on his phone while waiting for the toaster to pop. Evan’s was respectable and almost expected from a man who had spent the last three and a half months squatting. He read his again and scowled.
