But the color of that blood on the bolster frightened Alan badly.
“Aye, but listen, son. If I do no’ recover—”
“Do no’ say that.”
“If I do no’, ye maun promise me.”
Not another promise.
“Ye will guard the estate. Protect it. For this place is our worth and our standing. Guard it against the unrest in the land. And…fro’ yer brother.”
“But, ye will be here to do that.” As he always had done.
Father did not answer. Behind him, Alan heard his mother weeping. A glance showed him Annista stood in the doorway, her face white and stark.
“Promise me,” Father ground out.
“Aye, I will, but only if ye promise me ye will do yer best to hold on for the physician.” Alan had not been raised to govern the estate. And had he not already failed spectacularly in the tasks he’d been set? Had he succeeded in finding Evan earlier, his father never would have tussled with him.
“Son, I canna mak’ that promise.”
“Aye. Aye, ye can. I will ha’ it in return for mine.”
Father squeezed his hand. He said nothing.
“Do yer best to hold on,” Alan said then, as he would in turn.
He left them there together, his mother once more weeping.
Chapter Thirty-Six
“Wha’ will ye do now?” Annista asked. She could see the shock standing clear in her husband’s eyes but did not know how she might best help him. That she wanted to do just that—alleviate his suffering in any way she might—surprised her. Perhaps it should not. After all they had shared, could she fail to feel a measure of what he felt?
“I scarce know.” He slid his fingers through his hair in distress. They stood in the great hall, and for the moment alone.
“’Tis fruitless to go on searching—we ha’ done that and failed to find Evan. If I had—”
Annista raised her hand to his shoulder. “Ye canna blame yoursel’. By God, Alan, ye ha’ tried.”
“I am always in the wrong place at the wrong time, or so it seems. A step behind.”
“Nay.” She denied it. Could she convey what she thought of him? He was strong and steady and kind, a thinking man who wanted the best for everyone around him. A fine man indeed, and near the direct opposite of his brother.
As she was the direct opposite of the woman Robena had been? A wave of sadness swept over her. She could not help her sister. But this man? Aye, mayhap so.
“List to me,” she said decisively, seizing his hands. “Ye maun no’ doubt yoursel’. And there is nay sense left in going out searching again. Better to do as your father says and stand firm here, prepare should Evan return.”
Alan’s smoky gray eyes met hers. “And should he mak’ an attack elsewhere, as he did at Duncan’s?”
“Ye canna be everywhere. ’Tis your duty to stand firm here.”
And if she gave him bad advice? Evan was a violent man—mad, even. He knew a score of ways to get back into the manor, avoiding any guard they might set.
But Alan nodded, still holding her gaze. “Aye, so. ’Tis up to me to protect my parents and the others here.”Including ye, his gaze said though he did not speak the words.
Annista felt a spear of warmth flash through her. When all this was over—if—what would they mean to one another? Was there a life here for her with this man?
Only if they survived.
