I walked into the church, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the cross, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle.
The priest stood at the altar, holding one of those god-awful books.When I walked in and the doors shut behind me, he glanced in my direction.
The book in his hand shook, and he grabbed the cross that was around his neck.“Be gracious to everyone here, oh Lord.Cleanse us of the Devil!”
People gasped at his sudden outburst and followed his gaze.The church turned into a frenzy.All of the sinners stared at me, fearing that I was there for them.
“The Devil!The Devil!”
Some grabbed their children’s hands and sprinted with them out the door.Others flailed their arms in the air, looking like absolute idiots.And my personal favorites were the ones who dropped to their knees with tears streaming down their faces, crying—praying—that they’d be better next time.To give them one more chance.Just one more.They’d make it better.
But everyone knew that once a sinner, always a sinner.
Step after step, I walked down the center aisle toward him.He gazed at me with wide eyes, whispering prayers and trying to curse me away.
I waved at him.“Look, that’s not going to work on me.”
He stood in front of the altar, trying to summon all of the courage he had in God.“I will not let you take this church from me.God protects it and he?—”
I waved at the man again and took the wine that he had placed on the altar, sipping it.“I’m not here to kill you or to take your precious little church.”
“You speak unholy lies!”
I chuckled and tipped my glass.“This isn’t half bad.”I walked over to the plush red chair under the cross and sat on it, crossing my legs.“Now, I would like to chat with you.”
“I don’t make deals with the Devil.”
“You will if I tell you that I have an angel in my head who refuses to leave me alone.”
His eyes widened.“An angel?”He shook his head.“Why would such a beautiful, holy creature be inside of you?”
“Ex-lover”—I rolled my eyes—“who keeps bothering me.I think she’s jealous that I’ve been with a few other demons lately, and”—I winked—“a Kakosengel.”
“A Kakosengel?”He shook his head.“No such thing exists.”
I chuckled.“Your book doesn’t talk about the devilish relationships between angels and demons?”I smirked.“They can’t seem to stay away from us.”
“You lie!”
“Do I?”
“You lie in the house of God!”
“Look, I’ve come to ask for you to take her out.”
He paused, as if he didn’t believe a word I was saying, then shook his head.“I’ve never done it.”
“Isn’t this what that ghoul would want?Think about him and how much this angel in me is suffering.”
He pinched the cross between his fingers, the tips turning white, and bowed his head.Then, with a swift nod, he rushed into another room and brought back another book.He flipped through the pages and picked up his holy water.
He looked right into my eyes.“For you, my holy angel, to end your suffering.”
He dipped his fingers into the water and flicked them at me.I closed my eyes as they began burning and spit the water out on my lip.
I stood and shook my head.“You know what?I’ll find someone else.”
Again, he flicked me with that burning fucking water, and Raphaela appeared before me at my feet.
