I shook my head. “I can’t let myself feel that way. Especially since there are so many people who have it worse than me.”
“Yes, there are some who have it worse than you. But they’re not in your shoes, and you’re not in theirs. Your pain isn’t less real just because your situation isn’t as dire as someone else's. Your pain is still real. Your feelings are still real. And they should never be devalued or overlooked.”
“But I... I get so angry sometimes. And at other times, I’m just sad. I’m a roller coaster of emotions. Then there are times when I just want to be left the hell alone.”
“All of those are normal reactions to some of life’s situations. You just have to remember that you’re not alone. You don’t have to do this by yourself. Tracy and I are here. I’m taking the night shift. Tracy takes the day shift. You have two retired Petals at your service full-time and two on part-time, Lian Lu and Donna.You've been carrying a lot for a long time, sweetie. When it comes to Cami, let us help. I only called you tonight because she needed to see you. I know you’re busy. This won’t be an every-night thing.”
“I know,” I whispered. “And I don’t mind you calling. Call whenever you need me. I will always come. I just hate that you all can’t enjoy your retirement because of me. Am I paying you enough?” I asked. “I can pay more.”
“Child, I’d do this for free. I like being here for her. You see, I even dyed my hair red. I’d let it turn gray and was accepting my old age. But Cami didn’t recognize me. So, I dyed it back red. And now, she recognizes me more. You don’t know how happy it makes me when she says, “Hey, Red.”
I chuckled, remembering hearing that often while growing up.
“Blossom, I know this Marcel thing is weighing heavily on everyone. No matter what happens, we will protect you all, especially Cami. She made a mistake, but it wasn’t her fault. The woman sleeping in that room will not be defined by one mistake. This mistake will not be her legacy. It can’t be. She has done so much good. That isn’t wiped away by one incident. When I think about your mother, I don't think about Marcel Cattaneo. I think about the woman who opened that door when everyone else closed theirs. One bad decision doesn't erase a lifetime of good. She must be protected at all costs. We can’t let them find out. We won’t let them.”
I nodded. If the Cattaneos found out that we were responsible, they wouldn’t care that it was a mistake or that my mom had dementia. Someone would have to pay the price. And I didn’t want any of my people to suffer.
I refused to let my mom be hurt in any way. That’s why I had to make sure our plan to pin the crime on someone else worked. It was also why I had to let go of these feelings I had for Rome Cattaneo.
“Hey, Nancy. I think I’ll stay the night here. You can take the rest of the night off. But you’ll still get paid for a full night.”
“No. You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to.”
“Blossy...”
“I want to be here when she wakes up. Plus, I want to make breakfast with her in the morning and drink coffee with her.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am.”
“You know I don’t mind staying, right? I’m retired now. I don’t mind being here with her whenever I’m needed.”
“I know. And thank you for doing this. I don’t know what I’d do without you all.”
Nancy patted my knee. “We don’t know what we’d do without you either.” Groaning, she rose to her feet. “I swear these can’t be the same knees I used to kneel in bushes, camera out, as I spied on people for The Circuit,” she muttered.
I chuckled.
“I’ll be back to replace Tracy tomorrow evening,” Nancy told me. “I’ll bring some blueberry muffins for Cami. She mentionedtoday that I hadn’t made any for her in a while. So, I’ll have some ready for her tomorrow.”
“Thanks,” I muttered as I stood and walked her to the door.
We hugged before she left. I watched her walk to her car, which was parallel parked in front of the house. I’d told her she could use the parking garage, especially when it was raining. But Nancy hated parking garages.
I think it had something to do with her husband and a carbon monoxide incident. I’d overheard my mom and Tracy talking about it once when I was younger. When I asked about it, they told me to stay out of grown folks' business. I never brought it up again.
I waited at the door until she drove away, then I locked up, reactivated the alarm, and returned to my Mom’s room. There, I settled into her comfy recliner and watched her sleep. This was a woman who’d spent her life protecting others.
A woman who’d opened doors for people when the rest of the world closed them. A woman who helped build The Circuit and protected the Petals for years. Now it was my turn. Whatever happened next, whatever sacrifices I had to make, I would protect her. No matter the cost.
“Don’t worry, Mom,” I whispered. “Your Little Flower will never let anyone hurt you. I’d destroy this world before I let it destroy you.”
For the first time since falling for him, I accepted the truth that Rome Cattaneo was someone I had to protect my mother from. He was my enemy, not my lover. He was a member of a crime family. And I was the leader of The Circuit.
It was time I acted like it.
