Heat climbed up the back of my neck. I didn’t have a smooth answer. I didn’t even know what I was asking for, just that backing down felt impossible. Some stubborn part of me had woken up in that library and refused to go quiet again.
Aleksey shoved his fists into his pockets and looked away. “I can barely stay eligible without all the other bullshit that being with you would bring me. You don’t get it. Your last name makesyouuntouchable.”
Those words made me pause. My last name. His scholarship. The gap between us wasn’t just money.
I let the icy wind bite at my face. My dad taught me a long time ago that true indifference doesn’t yell; it just turns its back and walks away. But Aleksey was still standing right here.
“Last night, I wasn’t the one who started it.”
Aleksey scoffed and looked away. But he didn’t deny it.
“You made the first move,” I said. “And grabbed my hand and put it on your dick. So if you’re gonna stand here and act like I’m just some bored legacy asshole looking for a quick thrill, at least be honest about who wanted what.”
Aleksey’s glare dropped to my mouth. He caught himself a second later and looked away, but the slip was there.
I took a slow breath, letting the icy air fill my lungs.
“I don’t know what this is,” I said. The words came out harsher than I had meant. “I’ve never... I don’t do this. I don’t even know what to call it.”
Aleksey didn’t move a muscle.
“But last night was the first time all semester anything felt real.” I shrugged helplessly. “And I’m not gonna apologize for that.”
Aleksey stared at me for a long moment. Something dangerous shifted in his expression.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” he warned.
I refused to back down. “Then show me,” I said.
I didn’t even see him move. One second he was standing there, the next, he closed the gap.
His bare hand clamped hard onto the back of my neck, fingers digging into my hair. Meanwhile, his thumb pressed right up under my jaw as he jerked me forward.
His grip was tight enough to hurt. And anyone looking out a dorm window right now would think I was about to get laid out on the asphalt. But looking up at him, that wasn’t it. Aleksey’s eyes were totally wired, practically black in the bad lighting, and locked dead on my mouth.
He looked caught halfway between wanting to throw a punch and wanting to kiss me. But I didn’t flinch. I didn’t try to pull away. Instead, I just tilted my chin up and leaned into his grip.
Do it,I thought.
Then he snapped out of it.
Aleksey looked away, dropping his hand and shoving himself backward like he’d grabbed a live wire. He looked seriously rattled that he’d actually let himself touch me.
For a long moment, neither one of us moved. Finally, Aleksey reached up and yanked the zipper of his winter coat higher against the wind to play it off. He tried to look dismissive, but before he shoved his fists back into his pockets, I caught the undeniable shake in his hands.
Without answering me, he abruptly turned on his heel and walked away into the snow.
I didn’t follow him this time. Standing alone in the lot, I watched him go.
Chapter 8 - Aleksey
Three days. That was how long I’d managed to keep a wall between myself and whatever the hell happened in the parking lot with Karter. Three days of trading locker stalls, skipping our tutoring sessions, and taking back-to-back midnight shifts at the Food Mart just to have a concrete excuse to be somewhere else.
But you can’t run on a team bus.
I hauled my oversized duffel up the steep steps, the freezing night air following me inside. The bus was a dark, cramped tunnel of dim phone screens and hushed voices. Seniors had already claimed the front rows, leaving the freshmen exiled to the back.
Perez sat halfway down the aisle, his knee bouncing with its usual restless energy. He pointed with his chin to the empty cushion next to him, popping his gum. “Sit down, man. You look like shit.”
