When he’s gone.
His eyes fill with tears. He clears his throat and wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Goodbye, Landon. Take care.”
My throat constricts and my eyes burn. It’s not fair. Nothing in this life is fair. He doesn’t deserve to go out like this.
I clear my throat. “Goodbye, Robert.”
Then I stuff the envelope in my pocket as I walk off the field.
And never look back.
Chapter 37
Ainsley
Present
I unfoldthe piece of paper Landon hands me.
My heart free falls into my stomach the instant I’m met with the small, neat handwriting filling the page.
My father’s handwriting.
My hand trembles. “What is this?”
Landon presses a soft kiss to my temple. “Just read it, and I’ll explain.”
I blink to clear my watery vision, and take a deep breath before reading the letter...
Dear Landon,
If you’re reading this, it means I’ve passed away. Or maybe you didn’t want to wait to find out what was in the envelope I gave you, and you’re reading it in the high school parking lot. Either way, I want you to know a few things.I know you’re not on speaking terms with my daughter, but hopefully you’ll give a dead man some time.
My daughter is a fierce girl. Always has been. She refused to wait for her mother’s due date to come into this world, and she’s been raising hell ever since. You’ve been on the receiving end of that fire she has, and you’ve been the only one strong enough to withstand the flames. You stoke them, in fact, and you don’t try to contain them. I told her to promise me that she won’t ever let anyone put out her fire, because I know there will be people in this world who try. You’ve been good for her. I’ve seen a change as you two grew closer over the years. She’s always been a bit hardened since she lost her mom, and now she’s losing me. But watching the way she cared for you these last few years has given me hope that she’ll still let people in, despite how much she’s lost.
I know you’re angry with her. I know right now it feels like you’ll never be able to forgive her, because you feel betrayed, and your emotions are still raw. But in time, that wound will close up. In time, the anger will subside. And one day, you might even come to see things from her perspective. All I ask is that you come back to her at some point and give her this letter. Let my last dying wish be the thing that tethers you to her, so you can both figureout a way to forgive each other, and let go of the pain that haunts you.
Therapy has helped me to accept a lot of this bullshit diagnosis I’ve been handed. Maybe it can help you after everything you’ve been through with your father. Regardless, I hope you find your way past it, and heal.
Don’t give up on Ainsley. And tell her not to give up on herself.
With Love,
Robert Morgan
Tears stream down my face as my shoulders shake with my sobs. I clutch the letter to my chest as if it’ll blow away, as if I’m holding my father in my arms again.
“How...how long have you had this?” I ask.
Landon cradles the back of my head as he pulls me against his chest, enveloping me in his warm embrace. “Graduation.”
I melt into him as my mind reels from this letter. “And you’ve held onto it all this time?”
“Of course,” he whispers. “Your father asked me to bring this to you. I knew one day, I’d have to make good on it.” Landon pulls back and cups my face, swiping away my tears with his thumbs. “I took his advice, and I went to therapy. I had a lot to work through, and it took me some time. But when my mother finally let my father go, I knew I’d end up right here, back in this town, handing you this letter.”
I choke back a sob. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
Somehow, my father knew. He knew me better than I knew myself. I wish he was here so I could thank him for this. Hebrought Landon back, and healed a part of my past that had been festering like an infected wound all these years.
