“You think this is fun for me? I’ve been keeping you at arm’s length because I’m worried about putting you in danger and you’re going to stand there and accuse me of not caring? I care too much; don’t you get that? Can’t you see? Every single waking moment since I met you has been filled with worry. Worry that I might get you kidnapped, captured, or killed. I’m losing my damn mind, Nightshade.”
It had been real, every fucking word. Fucking moron.
“You’re an idiot.”
“Excuse me?”
“I held off a total of seven ERT raids and nearly a thousand different attempted muggers since I moved here. I have the contact information for seventy-seven of the most feared people in the world and haven’t batted an eye. You think I can’t handle myself? You think I’m some weak little delicate flower that needsto be protected?” I snorted. “Fuck you. Fuck you for thinking you know what’s best for me.”
His grip on my neck loosened, his hand lowered to rest flat on my collarbone.
“I don’t think any of those things.” His voice softened. “I think that you are the strongest and bravest person I’ve ever met. But if anyone learned— Violet, I can’t keep putting you in danger.”
“Then don’t. Walk out that door and don’t come back.”
“Is that what you want?”
“No. I want to go back to the late night, inappropriate phone calls and our effortless banter. But if we go back there and you leave again it’s going to ruin me. So, this is decision time. No more of this half in half out shit; you’re either my friend or you’re a stranger. Pick.”
“What if I want to be more?” he whispered, leaning closer, his lips hovering over mine.
“That’s not on the table.”
His eyes flickered from my chest—very obviously breathing heavy—to my lips—trying really hard not to nibble on them—back to my eyes.
“Right now? Or ever?”
“I guess that depends on you.”
He stepped back. My hand went to the door handle to keep me upright.
“If I stay, could it be on the table?”
“Well, you can’t stay at the hospital looking like that. But, if you stop disappearing for weeks at a time, yes. It could be on the table.”
“Since I can’t spend all day here, I’ll get out of the way.” A sly smile spread across his face. “But I’ll call you later?”
I nodded, stepping out of the way so he could open the door.
“I would like that.”
21
THE VILLAIN
I pacedthe length of my kitchen counter, clutching my phone so tight I was worried I might break it. It was 8 p.m., I’d only left the hospital three hours ago, yet I was itching to call her.
It could be on the table.
Fuck, I was so screwed. I shouldn’t have asked. I should have walked out the door and never looked back. But she was so close. So intoxicating. So warm. The words just slipped out before I could stop them.
It could be on the table.
Six words that had been rattling around in my head since they left her mouth. The reason I was pacing. Should I call now? Was she home yet? How could I keep myself from messing this up again? I was making my way to the door when my phone rang.
“Hello?”
“We have an opening. Get dressed and head to the airstrip.” Eva was on the other line.
