She did one of her laugh-sobs as she pulled away.
“You were so mad at him but it wasn’t his fault—his hot and cold thing. It was mine. I— We— I can’t tell you everything; only that he was doing something important with people that aredangerous and I was worried they’d hurt you. I’m the one that told him to stay away from you, the reason you were both so miserable.”
“Avalanche is a grown man, he’s perfectly capable of making his own decisions.” I reached forward and wiped a few lingering tears from her cheeks. “It’s not your fault.”
“I wasn’t sure in the beginning, but I understand now.”
I tilted my head slightly. “Understand what?”
“Why my brother is in love with you.”
I froze. “W-what? He— He said that?”
“Not explicitly, no. But it wasn’t hard to tell. I’ve known him my whole life, and I’ve never seen him act the way he does around you. Anytime you’re close by, his eyes are on you. Anytime he hears your name, he gets this little smile on his face. Anytime another man gives you attention, he looks murderous.” Tears welled up in her eyes again. “And I ruined it. I made him push you away.”
“Eva, you didn’t make him do a thing.”
“He went after Plowers thinking you hated him. What if the distraction is what got him caught? What if?—”
“He didn’t think that. I promise you, we made up after his visit with Scarlett.”
She pressed her lips together, blinking rapidly to keep the tears from escaping.
“You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”
I shook my head. “I was never actually mad at him, more hurt.”
I went on to explain exactly what happened between us, from the conversation in Crossroads after I saw the shop, to the back and forth phone calls, to the night before he completely ghosted me. She laughed hysterically at the conversation we had after my date with Officer O’Neill.
“Oh man, no wonder he looked so rough the next morning. Dude probably drank his body weight in alcohol. He never would have said all that shit sober.”
“So…he didn’t mean it?”
“What? Where did you get that? Of course he meant it, it’s just he wouldn’t have had the nerve to tell you if he hadn’t been drinking. The second I met you in the bar I nearly burst out laughing, I couldn’t believe it.”
My eyebrows furrowed. “What?”
“Dude, you’re literally the girl of his dreams. Ever since we were teenagers he was so specific about what he was looking for. Funny, smart, witty, shy but not too shy, black hair, blue eyes like the ocean, short and curvy. As we got older, he developed a preference for tattoos. After one conversation with you, I knew; he’s been looking for you his whole life.”
My attention fell to my lap, where my fingers were picking at my comforter.
“I—”
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to tell her I’d been looking for him, too. I was the same—so specific. Sweet but grumpy, funny, smart but not egotistical, one of thoseI hate everyone but hertypes, dark hair, blue eye like ice, tall.
I couldn’t tell her any of that because Austin was here, listening, watching. I didn’t want him to hear it second-hand. I wanted to look at him, talk to him, find out if it was true—if he did love me. Because I loved him, I had for a while but I didn’t want to scare him off if he wasn’t there yet. After all, we only met a few months ago.
Eva wrapped her hands around mine to stop me from picking at the blanket.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you that. I should have let him when he comes back.” She gave me a forced smile before dropping my hands. “I should get going. Thank you for keepingme company. Do you think we could hang out tomorrow as well?”
“I’m headed out of town in the morning. I… I have a tradition for Winter Solstice I’ve been doing since I was a kid. Usually, I would have left today, but I was hoping that he would show up… I’ll call you, okay? Every day.”
“Okay.” She gave me a hug. “You’ll let me know if you hear from him?”
I nodded. “You do the same.”
“I will.”
