He blows out a nervous breath, the corners of his lips curling into a tiny smile. “Thanks for, like, not pushing it or anything, even though I did reciprocate that frat house make-out at first.”
Again, I find myself wondering if he’s being serious. “No. Nick. You’re allowed to change your mind. Are you seriously thanking me fornotcoercing you into having sex with me?”
“Yeah. Pretty much everyone else has.”
Jesus.My jaw drops. “Bro. That’s fucked. Even your ex?”
“Yeah. A few days after we got together, we were talking about random shit, and of course the topic went to sex.” He sucks in a breath. “He asked me why we hadn't done anything, I didn't have a good answer, and then he put a hand down my pants.”
I flinch. “And you didn't rip his dick off?”
Please say you did.
“Nope. I told him to keep going because I thought I just had first-time nerves, and that it’d be better if I got those out of the way.”
What the actual fuck? I screw my face up in disgust, and Nick just…shrugs?
“Look. I didn't know it wasn't okay back then. And…” He shuts his eyes and lets out a sigh. “I pushed through. I started being more into sexual things pretty soon, so I kind of thought that’s how things went. For me, at least.”
“Dude, that’s mess—” I cut myself off before finishing my sentence.
What’s messed up is Nick’s ex coercing him, not Nick himself. I need to be careful.
“That’s not what it should feel like, ever,” I correct myself. “I can’t say I relate?—”
“I know. You know if you want to suck a guy's dick the second you meet him.” He chuckles, and it’s oddly infectious.
“Man, shut up,” I drawl, dragging the words out. Then I concede, “Maybe. Yes. But, like, sex is fun because it'swithsomeone, not donetosomeone. I’m surprised he kept trying to push when you weren’t comfortable.”
“I don’t know, man. I’ve always been hot as fuck.”
Scoffing, I smack him on the chest, even though it’s true. “That doesn’t change anything. Honestly, thebestpart of sex is the enthusiasm.”
“Enthusiasm,” he repeats.
“Yeah. Like hearing how bad the other guy is losing it and howmuch more he wants from me, and knowing what I’m feeling is matched? It’s the horny little sighs and the grabbing at your back and?—”
And I’m on a roll, and I can’t stop, not when Nick’s smiling at me the way he is now.
“—the begging. Oh mygod, the begging not to stop. Fuck!” I ball a hand into a fist and bite down on it. “So yeah, in short, sex is only good when everyone buys into it.”
“That’s…wow,” he offers.
I know we’re supposed to be de-escalating. I don’t think my primer on why I love sex helped at all.
Nick shuffling toward me, making the couch creak, serves as confirmation. Him opening his legs to close the distance even more sends my brain into overdrive, and I part my lips, still thinking about what the hell I’m gonna say. Or do.
My thoughts are interrupted when he brings a gentle hand up, grazing my jaw and making my mind flicker out. I shudder under his touch, and it isn’t until I feel his hand move to my neck that I realize what he’s doing.
He pulls me toward him. My eyes widen, the anticipation brutal and burning. I keep my lips apart, not to speak, but as an invitation. Because despite Nick’s many revelations over the past ten minutes, I’m not making the first move this time. Not again.
We both sigh, and his breath is warm and minty on my face.
And then he presses his mouth to mine.
And holy hell, as soon as we touch, everything I was holding back comes to the surface. Everything I said about enthusiasm rings true, and if I thought Nick was a good kisser two days ago, that’s nothing compared to our second shot. His tongue is firm and forceful, not passively accepting. He’s pressing into me, not the other way around.
If either of us stop, I think I’d cry, and from the way Nick’s making raspy, desperate sighs, it’s clear he’s the same way. The fire we tried to build yesterday was fucking pathetic, but the one he just lit in my core makes up for that a hundred-fold.
