What the hell is wrong with me? I go full steam ahead in telling him to doubt why he’s accepting a perfectly good admissions spot in the program he wanted to get into, and now I achily miss him when he hangs up?
If he doesn’t love me back, then this is probably why.
Wait.
Oh, Jesus, I love him.
I laugh dryly for nobody in particular.
I love Dean, and that means I need to get a grip and learn how to fucking show it.
But it’s easier said than done when I don’t deserve him in the first place.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
DEAN
What the actual fuck?
You’re giving up on something you’ve always wanted just to be with me.
Just.
He’s out of his damn mind.
If I hadn’t spoken with my parents before Nick,maybeI’d have more doubts, but no. I have none. I’m going to grad school at one of the best universities in the country,andit’s close to Nick’s team.
If Washtenaw U wasn’t close, I’d do a deep dive into his schedule and bust my ass to see him whenever possible, because he’s fucking worth it. To me, insecure guys are usually a turn-off, but I haven’t seen anyone be this insecure over something sotrivial.
Although someone being crazy into him isn’t exactly trivial. But it’s also not something anyone is typically insecure about.
I got a little intrusive thought at around three a.m. where I considered breaking things off, and the second-long contemplation made me want to cry. So yeah, a sweet, sexy baseball player who’s shyer than he lets on has me wrapped around his finger, and I don’t hate it. I just wish he’dlikethat I’m obsessed with him.
After a night of tossing and turning, I grumble when muted winter sunlight creeps around my curtains and invades my dry eyeballs—giving up on getting any more sleep, I heave myself out of bed and rinse off to wake up.
That doesn’t do much, so I need a coffee. Or three. After glaring at my reflection for far too long, I shoot a text to Claire and ask her if she’s free to hang out, because if I stay alone in my apartmentfor much longer, I think I’m gonna actually start clawing at the walls.
And hell if I’m gonna lose my damage deposit.
Still wearing a frown, I lumber into the coffee shop fifteen minutes later and plonk myself across from Claire, who narrows her eyes, jolting back.
“Dude, you look like trash,” she says.
I scoff. “I know. Getting three hours of sleep is gonna do that.”
She sighs. “What happened? If Nick broke up with you, I’ll kill him?—”
“He didn’t,” I say quickly, putting a hand up. “He’s just got it in his head that I’m sacrificing my whole life and future to be with him, and now he’s all mopey.”
Claire’s stance softens. “Okay, that’s alittlebetter. But you going to grad school makes sense, even if he wasn’t close by.”
“I know! My god, I don’t know what happened for him to do such a massive one-eighty.”
She doesn’t reply right away, taking a sip of her coffee while I wait for mine to cool down a little. “Do you want me to get his friends to stage an intervention or something?”
Huh?I recoil, making a face. “No?” Then I catch myself. Nickmightbenefit from a second opinion. One he’d be more willing to accept as not being “biased” or something. “Actually, maybe.”
Claire gives me a dry smile as she pulls her phone out. “Awesome. I’m calling in some reinforcements.”
