I blinked hard, forcing the images and the rising anger back before they could take root.
“Did she ever say who might have learned the truth?” I asked him.
He shook his head. “She told me we would be in danger if anyone discovered us. The judges most of all.”
“She made those rings for us,” Joy said. Her face was pale, her eyes too bright. “So we wouldn’t be discovered.”
“Yes.” Father’s voice sagged. “I thought about this for years. I told myself it might be better if you never knew. Then I decided I had to explain. Then I changed my mind again. I was afraid you would come to these lands, and someone would find out about you. And find out about us.”
“You were wrong,” Joy rasped. “It wasn’t better to hide it from us. You left us unprepared. You left me believing there was something wrong with me. You knew, and you never told us. You knew, and you never told us. Youknew,and—”
“Breathe,” I urged, twisting toward her on the couch.
But she kept repeating the words, over and over. I reached for her hand, and she jerked it away.
“You knew, and younevertold us. You knew, and younever told us.”
“There is nothing wrong with you, sweetheart,” Father said, his voice overlapping hers. “And the medication helps.”
Joy’s words became a mumble of sound and breath. In a sudden motion, she pressed her arm to her mouth and bit down on her skin.
“Jane, help her,” Father said, alarm ringing in his voice. He shifted on the bed, swaying as though he might stand.
The fog in my mind vanished.
“Stay there,” I said firmly and turned fully to her. “Joy, hold this.” I held out the gemstone of her necklace. “It’s just the flux. Hold the stone and breathe.”
Her chest rose and fell in sharp pants, but her gaze fixed on my hand. A single tear slipped free.
I remembered the burning when Seraphyn’s power had thrummed inside me and wondered if this was what Joy felt in moments like this.
Her trembling fingers closed around the gemstone until she finally released her arm from her mouth.
Chapter 39
Jane
“I wish we could have met under better circumstances,” Reagan said, his tone lordly as he stood a few steps from my father’s bed, hands deep in his pockets, projecting an ease that belied the thrum of power coming from him.
We had to wait two days before Hildegard allowed a longer conversation. She’d reprimanded us for the way Father’s heart rate had spiked. It was only during meals that we visited him.
My father’s face twitched in a controlled expression. Knowing him, it was surprise at the pulse of mana that clung to Reagan. “I wished the same, but I’m not young anymore. Just a frail old man that scares too easily.”
His lips curved, though there was a hint of caution there.
“It was probably the Strzyga. The monster you saw,” I argued, filling the silence, my arms folding over my chest. “But Caedmon does have that effect on people too.”
“Like a Strzyga?” Reagan asked, sounding faintly amused. “Zara, I hope not.”
I forced a smile for Father’s sake, despite the mess in my head. It was the lack of sleep from the last couple nights, my mind too loud with thoughts wreaking havoc.
“Yes, I can see that,” Father said cautiously, examining both of us. “I don’t recall your mother ever feeling so…obvious. Or we never would have been able to hide.”
Every time I heard it, my body wound up.Hide.
“Jane told me about your wife,” Reagan said, his tone carrying quiet mourning, using the term he wasn’t used to. “I’m sorry for your loss and for the circumstances you endured. I wish there were a way to bring justice to her. I understand she was from Mountheim.”
“There is a way,” Father said.
