“No, it’s me. I’m used to this kind of chaos. You’re not.”
“I grew up on the road with emotionally unavailable parents.” She let out a dry laugh. “I think I understand how to deal with my feelings under pressure.”
“A crack within a philosophical perspective is bigger than living on the road, Octavia,” I whispered, hoping she wouldn’t take offense.
She took a breath, looking at the ground for a second before saying, “You’re not wrong.”
“It’s quite rare,” I agreed.
Octavia scoffed. “But you’re not right either.”
“I liked it,” I said. “If that means anything.”
Her eyes softened, and she leaned against the doorframe again. “It means everything.”
“But—”
“You’re working on my case.” She smiled.
“And you’re being stalked by a demon.”
“All the more reason to kiss the woman I find attractive,” she whispered.
The confirmation burned through my worry; the only fireproof part of me was desire. But the precautionwasn’t just because her perspective on the world had shifted. It was also a guardrail for me and my insecurities. How could I offer parts of myself to someone when I didn’t even know which ones fit anymore? It would be more than just unfair; it’d be cruel.
“Do you not find me…”
“Octavia,” I said, tone clipped, bordering on pissed. “It’s entirely possible I will dream of this moment until I have the chance to taste you properly. And if I never do, it’ll be what I think about until the memory’s too old to recall. So, yes, I find you attractive.”
She blinked, frozen as my words fell at her feet. I wanted to kneel with them too and apologize for how ill-prepared I’d been to meet her. I’d had twenty-eight years to prepare, and I’d carelessly wasted them.
“I did a sweep of your room while you were with Wilson.” I focused hard on keeping my voice steady. “Everything checked out just fine. I’ll be right outside if you need me. It shouldn’t be strong enough to follow us here.”
She swallowed, nodding numbly.
“When things get…less…” I tried. “Maybe we should talk?”
“We should.”
I almost reached for her before shoving my hands into my pockets. “Sleep well, Octavia.”
“You, too.” She offered me one last smile before slipping into her room. The door clicked shut behind her. I forced myself to walk away, even though some part of me had her still pinned to that doorframe, kissing her until her name on my lips was the only conjuring that could protect us from everything, including ourselves.
SIXTEEN
The team was arguingwhen I quietly slipped back into the RV. My lips still tingled from Octavia’s mouth. I mindlessly massaged the base of my neck, a feeble attempt to stave off drunkenness.
“I don’t care how many times she calls him,” Nico was saying. He stood in the entryway that led to the short hall of bunk beds. His hands pressed into both walls of the hallway, the wooden panels bending slightly under the pressure. “I’m going to double it.”
December leaned against the sink with an empty cup in her hand. She pressed the rim against her chin, gaze locked on Nico. “She said the man was possessed.”
Jonah sat on the couched with his knees pulled into his chest. He gave me a passing glance, but that was the only animation he had to offer.
“Give him some time. Blowing up his phone will not do much more than piss him off,” December said.
“Why would I care about pissing him off? If he didn’t want to be a resource, he shouldn’t have become one of the few demon experts in the world.”
“What’s going on?” I couldn’t swallow my deep sigh. I should have known they wouldn’t be playing nice this late at night. Sleep would be preferable at a time like this, but the clock had sped up on this case. The sooner we got more information, the less likely something horrible will happen.
