I remembered. He’d been a stupid bully, looking for any hits to land, and my lack of a dad was a favorite of his. I’d largely been good at ignoring him, but on that particular day he’d gotten to me. And Graham had rounded the corner, fists raised, fury on his face.
“You gave him a black eye,” I said, my lips twitching in a smile even though the memory still made me feel just a touch small inside.
“Aye, well. He deserved worse.” Graham’s jaw tightened. “But that’s not the part I remember most.”
“What do you remember?”
“You.” He met my eyes across the table. “Standing there, chin up, and you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you break. It was like you were just daring him to do his worst. And I thought...” He shook his head. “I thought … she’s so brave.”
My throat tightened, and I shook my head.
“Och, Graham. That wasn’t bravery. I was frozen. I was tired. His constant bullying had just worn me down. I was just being stubborn about giving him a reaction is all.”
“Maybe they’re the same thing.” He reached across the table and covered my hand with his. “You asked why I haven’t given up, and that’s why, Agnes. Because I know who you are. I’ve known since we were kids. And I know that whatever’s making you push me away, it’s not because you don’t care. It’s because you care too much.”
I stared at our hands—his large and warm, mine small and trembling slightly—and something cracked open inside me.
“You got suspended for a week,” I said, because it was easier than addressing what he’d actually said. “For the fight with Jamie.”
“Worth it.”
“You never told anyone what Jamie said. You let people think you’d started the fight for no reason.”
“Because you didn’t want anyone to know he was bullying you.” He squeezed my hand.
The weight of unshed tears pinched my eyes.Thiswas why Graham was dangerous. Not because he was charming or attractive or persistent, though he was all of those things, of course, but because he saw me. Really saw me, in ways I’d spent my whole life trying to hide from everyone else.
He saw me, and he stayed anyway.
“You’ve always done that,” I heard myself say. “Stood up for me. You put yourself between me and anything that might hurt me.”
“Someone had to.”
“Did they?” I looked up at him. “I’d like to think that I’ve been able to stand for myself for a while now.”
“I won’t deny that.” Graham crossed his arms and laughed. “Bloody hell, woman, but nobody’s going to question if you’ve got a spine of steel in that gorgeous body of yours.”
My skin flushed with heat. I couldn’t help it. Every time I thought of Graham touching me again, my body responded in some messed-up Pavlovian response to him.
“But why? Why always you?”
“Because I love you, Agnes.” He said it simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and my soul despaired.Because he loves me. “I’ve loved you since you came home from uni and looked at me like you were seeing me for the first time. Maybe before that. Maybe always. I don’t know anymore. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I love you, and I’m always going to love you, and nothing you say or do is going to change that. You’re my favorite person.”
I pulled my hand away, blinking against the tears that threatened. My heart yawned, wide open, and I gaped down into the abyss.
Thiswas exactly what I’d been afraid of.Thiswas why I’d kept him at arm’s length for years—because I knew that if I let him get too close, if I let him say these things, I wouldn’t be strong enough to walk away.
“Graham—”
“I’m not asking you to say it back.” His voice was gentle, but there was steel underneath. “I’m not asking for anything, Agnes. I’m just telling you the truth. You wanted to know why I haven’t given up? That’s why. Because giving up on you would mean giving up on the only future I’ve ever actually wanted.”
The food arrived then—Marco appearing with impeccable timing, oblivious to the emotional earthquake happening at our table. He set down our plates with cheerful commentary about enjoying our meal, refilled our waters, and disappeared again.
I stared at my risotto, not seeing it.
“Eat,” Graham said softly. “Before it gets cold.”
“I’m not hungry.”
