“I’m trying, Dad, it’s just I get so bored and mad that Mom isn’t here with us, with you. You need a girlfriend, I think,” he admitted. Saying what I thought about in my alone time. And maybe I didn’t need a girlfriend but a companion of some sort. They had sober companions for recovering addicts. I wondered if they had grieving companions for souls yearning for what they now miss. A girlfriend was taking it a little far, but nothing was too far for Malone.
“A girlfriend,” I questioned as we pulled up to my office. Parking the car, I turned to make eye contact. This was the first time he ever mentioned finding a girlfriend. The admission caught my attention as I didn’t even know how he knew anything about girlfriends. That wasn’t something they should be teaching in that high-priced ass school.
“I have one and you should too. I know you miss Mom, but you can go out and have fun or something. Sitting at home is lame, and you stillhave nice clothes. Get some Jordans and go out with Uncle Luke,” he instructed.
“I will never be able to replace your mom, so I’ll pass,” I answered and chuckled at the shit he came up with. I blew over him having a girlfriend because I wouldn’t dare ask who she was if I planned to get any work done today.
“Old man, it’s not replacing her if she’s not coming back. It’s about embracing the feeling mom gave you, but with someone else. I think that’s ok if she’s a nice person,” he shrugged and hopped out the car. I followed suit and stopped him. Looking in his eyes, I stared into the eyes of Leslie. The resemblance was uncanny. Touching his face, I relished in that similarity.
“Alright, smart guy,” I agreed, hugging him and giving him dap, “ for the record, I like it being just me and you. Don’t you?”
“Sometimes, but you can’t cook good pasta. We need a cook on our team.”
“I make good pasta.” I could barely boil the water for the pasta, but I made do with the little skills I had. Malone never went to bed hungry, so it didn’t matter who made the food. We did a lot of takeout and had a lot of dishes from my generous customers. Malone was onto something because I missed a messy kitchen, the smell of food cooking, and a woman letting me taste off the spoon.
“Dad, no, you don’t, but that’s ok. Just think about it, no pressure from me. But I think it’s time.”
“Ok, I’ll give it some thought.” “Promise?”
“Kid, don’t you worry about me, I’m fine,” I ruffled his mane and headed into the small office that felt like a second home due
to me working so much. Stepping in, I handed the tablet to Malone to keep him busy. He could research whatever his heart desired while I got to work. The conversation from the car was a little profound for me, and I didn’t have the right answers. I wasn’t running from love, I was running from loss. I was bothered.
For years, I used having a son as an excuse, but from the sounds of it, that wouldn’t work anymore. Malone was getting older. Girls were starting to get his attention. Sharing my time with someone who wasn’t my wife was something I hadn’t considered. Now I had a lot to thinkabout. Unfortunately, I had no idea where to start with untangling the web of lies I spun around myself. I convinced myself I wasn’t ready, and that Malone would keep me occupied, and it sounded like he was ready to get rid of me.
“Ok, but I still think we need a cook. You are the handyman, and I’m the brains behind this operation, so a cook is all we are missing. It makes sense.”
“Well use that brain and do better in school. Mind over matter, son,” he was something else for wanting me to get a girlfriend for cooking purposes. His small mind couldn’t wrap around that it took more. Any woman that found refuge in my heart had to know how to do more than cook his favorite pasta. She would need to understand far more than how to work a stove and mix sauce.
“I think we just made a deal, don’t you?” “And what’s that?”
“I do better in school, and you have to get a girlfriend,” he responded, holding his hand out for me to shake. Reluctantly, I shook his hand, sealing the deal. Hopefully, this is all it would take for him to chill for another few months because he was giving me way too much to think about. “No reneging either.
Right now, the task at hand was getting him on track with school and his behavior. That was important because although he was way smarter than most in his grade, he had a while before school ended. Letting him fall by the wayside wouldn’t be on Malone; it would be on me. His becoming a troubled child meant I failed as a father. I couldn’t lose my son to the streets or anything that would leave him stuck.
“I got you, man, we will talk more. But right now it’s a must I get some work done,” As I bent down her card fell from my pocket. Staring at it I wondered if she could in fact help. I was inclined to find out for Malone's sake, but was anxious about the possibilities. Nervous about seeing her for more than a helping hand. Nervous about Malone getting attached and things not working. Nervous about the feeling of replacement.
Work consumed me quickly, and thoughts of Teaghan evaporated until we were headed for Fazoli’s. My mind now wondered if she could cook, preferably cook my son's favorite dish, pasta. That would seal the deal for Malone, but it was more than that for me. As much as I tried tostop thinking of her she lingered in my mind while we ate, showered and until I put Malone to sleep. Sleep didn’t find me as I imagined her fierce, savvy, sharp slanted eyes on the top of my ceiling. Her eyes were begging for me to grab my phone and call her to see if she made house calls. “Not tonight, but soon,” I said into the night air as I attempted to get comfortable.
Teaghan
Somehow I managed to allow Missy to set me up on a date with her boyfriend’s country ass first cousin. He was on time, but the sweater and blazer combo was setting me off in the wrong way. The Kangal he sported gave me the shakes and he had the nerve to have it to the back with a Bluetooth in his damn ear. No one still dressed that way unless they were nearing fifty.
Missy hadn’t given many details about who would be torturing me for the night. I knew now that it was to keep me from backing out. Because backing out would have been the only logical option if she had told me it was Chase Roman. Yea she kept her mouth shut because she knew it would be a strong no.
Chase and I had met before at a kickback Missy had. I wasn’t impressed then, and I damn sure wasn’t impressed now. Spit flew from his mouth when he talked due to his lisp, his jokes were stale, and he was far from a gentleman. He didn’t open the door for me, he hadn’t pulled out my chair, and he ordered for me like I was some young girl he had to impress.
“Teaghan you sholl is good lookin’. I mean damn girl. I remember you from the kickback, but not like this,” I cringed as he popped a piece of shrimp in his mouth and smacked like it was the best thing he hadever eaten. To keep my friendship with Missy intact, I smiled back and sipped my wine. If I opened my mouth, I was sure to ruin this date more than it was already ruined. I would say things that would only lead to a heated argument and a long-faced Chase. Missy wouldn’t care, but Lewis would have an issue, and ruining a happy home because I had standards wasn’t something I was up for.
“Thank you, Chase, how old are you again?” “
Older than you. Is that a problem?”
“Depends, your age?” I asked, getting back to the question. I knew he was older - I wanted to know how much older. It didn’t really matter because this wasn’t going to happen again. His outfit of choice forced me to ask. I just had to know. I just had to be sure my meter wasn’t broken.
“Forty-eight…”
“Excuse me?”
