“Mommy, look, Gigi got me a hat that says Slay,” Cadence said, posing with no camera in sight.
“It’s definitely fly. You ready to see your room?” I asked, climbing out of Ducane’s lap.
“Whew, these boys have worn me out. Here,” she said, coming out with Dex and Declan on her hip. The second they spotted their father, they reached for him, leaving Dena in the dust. All of these children looked like he spit them out, and they loved him something serious. They hung on him every time he came around. He was the best father I’d ever known.
Our kids and his home came first, always. Business picked up for him, but that man was on the floor with the twins every evening and in Cadence’s business about her day, like it was the most important meeting he had. We knew where we stood with him.
“Baby, do you wanna give us a tour?”
“Yes, come on, everybody,” I said, grabbing Dex and leading them in.
Later that night
“Ma, I was scared I’d be him,” I said into the dark, letting the cigar burn between my fingers. It was just me and her out on the patio. The water flowed quietly below us, and the Gentleman’s Jack sat between us.
She blew smoke out because Dena was an OG, so she had one too.
“Be who?”
I smacked my lips and looked over at her. “Be serious, ma.”
“Okay, sorry, son. I prayed every night you’d never turn out like him. Your father was brilliant, but that arrogance cost him everything and everyone. You’ve never been like that, Ducane. Always the helper, the calm in a storm. Brilliant too.”
“Thanks, ma.”
“Don’t thank me. That means I stayed too long. All you are today is because of you and the hard work you put in.”
I looked back inside, spotting Skye singing into the broom while unpacking. The kids were down. Knowing they were here with us, safe and loved and protected, was enough for me.
“I’m just trying to be the best man I can be for them.”
“Son, you are that and then some. You have a beautiful family, Ducane. I need to thank you for allowing me into your life. I hardly deserve it.”
“Ma, come on, don’t do that. I love you, and you’ve been a good mom to me. You took care of me when I was sick. You didn’t let a nanny raise me; you helped with homework and made my favorite meals. I understand now your silence was about survival.”
“Thank you, son.”
“I was worried about you, ma,” I said, blowing smoke from my cigar.
“And why is that, son?”
“You leaving Pop and hiding it. You kept that silent for a whole year. I would’ve been there for you.”
“Son, I left your father mentally twenty years ago. I didn’t need a shoulder to cry on or somebody to make me feel better. Especially not my son, who watched me protect that fucker for years. I moved out and moved on.”
“Twenty years.” I shook my head and thought about the time she lost. “You’re a stronger person than me, ma. My body ain’t give me twenty years.”
She turned in her seat. “What do you mean?”
“A few years back, I had a scare at work.” I looked out at the water, so I didn’t have to see her face. “They put a heart monitor on me for a week. That shit shook me.”
“Ducane. Why am I just finding out about this?” she asked, grabbing my hands.
“I’m good now, ma. I’m telling you ‘cause I’m good.” I looked at her then. “But I sat in that man’s office and understood I was going to win every case and die at my desk proving something to a man that never gave a fuck about me for real.”
“Is that where the entertainment side came from?”
“Somewhat, the entertainment side was something I wanted to do for a while, something new for the firm. When I got the Mudd case, it felt like confirmation. Then he came to me with the perfect setup.”
