Cady: did you find me something
Me: More than you know, my love. And yes, I did. Wanna see?
A slew of emojis took over the text box, letting me know CJ and Cartiera had joined the chat.
Me: Hey babies. Bathed?
CJ: Yes
Carty: Yep
Cady: All clean. Carter said big girls take showers. Is that true?
Me: Somewhat Sugar. Pajamas?
Cady: Check.
CJ: check
Carty: check
Me: Okay, I guess you all earned the gifts I got you.
I sent the group a picture of the dolphins I’d picked up from the gift shop when we landed.
CJ: yippyyy
Carty: i LOVE her thank you auntie
Cady: she’s so pretty. we can name her when you get back.
Me: It’s a date, little girlie. Goodnight, my babies. Dream big.
I set the phone down on the railing and looked back through the glass.
Ducane was still out, one arm thrown across the spot where I’d been, chasing me even in his sleep. Behind me, in a phone going dark on a terrace railing, was a little girl with his eyes who’d be expecting my return in a few days to name a dolphin with her. The two of them, twenty feet and one enormous lie apart, and me standing in the middle of it like I’d built the whole thing on purpose.
I had.
I wrapped my arms around myself and let the tears come, quietly, so I wouldn’t wake him.
This was not how it was supposed to go. When I met Ducane Simmons, I was twenty years old with a smart mouth and inneed of a friend, and falling for him was the easiest thing I'd ever done. Nobody warned me that easy could turn into raising our daughter alone, into a little girl who fell asleep some nights asking when her daddy was coming home. Nobody warned me that loving a man that much would mean letting him go, then standing on a beautiful terrace on a beautiful island years later, happier than I'd been in ages, and still carrying the one thing that could take it all apart.
He almost died not knowing her. He almost left this earth, and Cady would’ve grown up with my silence where a father should’ve been.
I couldn’t do it anymore. I knew that now, standing there in the dark.
I picked the phone back up.
Me: I have to tell him soon, Sis.
Airalynn: It’s time. I’ve got your back, you know that. Carter too.
I did know that. I just didn’t know how to hand a man his whole life back and survive what he’d think of me for keeping it this long.
I wiped my face. Took a breath. Went back inside and slid under his arm, and he pulled me in without waking.
Soon, I told myself. Soon I’d tell him.
