“Anything I should know right now?”
“Sugar has ballet at two today if you’d like to join us. After, we always go get milkshakes.”
The second it left my mouth, his eyes locked on mine. And I knew we were both thinking about the same day.
The day he followed me out of class, carried my bag all the way to The Diner, and sat me down in his booth. He ordered the biggest milkshake on the menu because I was having the worst day of my life, and decided he was going to fix it.
We sat there for hours. I walked in a girl who’d just lost her parents and walked out with him as a best friend.
The corner of his mouth pulled. Mine did too. For a second, it was just us again, two wild-ass kids living off milkshakes and cheese fries.
And here I was, taking our daughter for milkshakes every Wednesday after ballet. Another way to keep him close.
“Skye.” His voice came out rough.
“I know trusting me again is going to be hard,” I said, reaching for the safer thing. “But I told you the truth on that beach. She always knew who you were. I made sure of that much.” I finally looked at him. “I just hope one day you can forgive me for the rest. I do regret hurting you.”
He didn’t respond to that. I didn’t expect him to. Forgiveness wasn’t a thing you handed somebody twelve hours in, and Ducane didn’t give anything he didn’t mean.
“I’ll be there at two,” he said instead.
It wasn’t forgiveness. But it was him showing up. I’d take it.
“Okay.” My shoulders finally dropped. “I’m glad you’re here.”
He checked his watch, detaching from the moment. “Me too. I gotta head out in a little. Meeting up with the guys.”
The guys. Carter was the guys. Carter, who’d been Ducane’s right hand since they were nineteen, married my sister, who’d sat across from me at a hundred Sunday dinners, knowing exactly whose daughter was running around the table. My stomach tightened.
“Ducane.” I caught his arm. “Don’t kill him, okay? Carter only did what I asked him to do. He kept his mouth shut because I begged him to. Be mad at me. Not him.”
His face tightened, but he didn’t say anything.
I hated that I’d ever put Carter in the middle of our mess. Back then, I’d been ready to disappear with Sugar if he ever decided his loyalty lay with Ducane rather than with us. I didn’t know how two men came back from a thing like that, and knowing I was the reason for it made me feel even worse.
“I hear you.” He said, walking out of the room. I’d been standing at my bedroom window for longer than I realized, until the sound of Cadence's laugh finally pulled me out of it.
When I made it downstairs, Sugar was in the middle of the living room, going all out to Gracie’s Corner, glasses sliding down her nose, throwing her whole little body into moves that didn’t match the song or each other. Ducane sat on the floor in sweats with his back against the couch, filming her on his phone, cracking up every time she spun herself dizzy and kept going.
I stopped at the bottom step and just looked at them.
It was a portrait. Our daughter dancing wildly in mismatched pajamas while her father sat on the floor recording every second of. Morning light poured through the windows and settled over them. I’d spent a lot of time believing I’d stolen this picture from both of them.
I turned my head before either of them could catch me wiping my face.
“Mommyyyy,” Cadence squealed, spotting me. Ducane turned his head and camera as she launched into my arms. “I saved you a chocolate donut. Daddy said that’s your favorite.”
I looked at Ducane and exhaled. He dropped his phone and reclined on the couch. I hated that I couldn’t read him. But maybe that was the problem, the reading. Maybe I needed to stop reading him and start hearing him. Seeing him.
“Thank you, pumpkin. What kind did you have? Let me guess.” I tapped my chin while she grinned up at me, practically vibrating. “Pink. With sprinkles. No jelly.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Eww, no jelly, but correct, Mommy!” She dug into her bag and pulled out a hundred-dollar bill, slapping it into my palm like a game show host. “Here. You win.”
“Crazy girl. Thank you.” I laughed. “I guess that means you’re paying for me and Daddy’s milkshakes today?”
I walked into the kitchen and took a bite of the donut. Ducane joined us in the kitchen and leaned against the wall while Sugar bounced in place, thinking it over hard. Then she opened her bag and held it up to him.
“Is that enough?”
