Two miniature G-Wagons, one pink, one blue, both wrapped in bows bigger than the twins themselves. A third one, all white,with a bow just as big, sat off to the side with a card that read Cadence Noelle Simmons.
Behind all three, a flower arrangement the size of a small tree, and a note addressed to me:
I’m sorry I couldn’t be there. Made it up to the babies. Working on you.
Airalynn about lost her whole mind over the G-Wagons. Carter just shook his head. Cadence and the twins climbed and tore the backyard up until we had to force them off.
I stood there in my sister's backyard, unsure of how to feel. This shit was not supposed to be this damn difficult.
Me: I don’t get you.
Ducane: You will. Give it time.
two weeks later
“Skye, stop calling us. We good.” Her laugh still made me melt after all these damn years, and I hated that it did. “We almost home now.”
A month in, and I’d moved from level one to level two without much of a fight left in me, not after waking up to them in the mornings. We were past careful co-parenting small talk, past pretending the distance between us was about anything other than both of us being scared. I still slept down that hall every night, guest room technically still the guest room, but some mornings I woke up and forgot that was even true anymore.
Skye still had that fucking pull on me.
There was still a part of me that wanted Skye to hurt the way I’d hurt. To sit in the same silence. To ask the same questions. I’d be lying if I said that man disappeared overnight.
He just wasn’t the man I wanted Cadence learning from.
“Daddy, don’t be mean to Mommy. She just misses us.”
The word still got my attention every time she said it. I just wasn’t surprised by it anymore. I glanced down at the little judge in the seat beside me, arms crossed over her brand-new bear.
“Sorry, baby.” I bit back a smile. “But I took good care of you today, didn’t I? Tell Mommy that part.”
Kareem chuckled from the front seat. I cut my eyes at him.
Cadence never missed a thing, and somehow, she’d become my favorite person on this earth in a month flat.
We’d finally made it out of Build-A-Bear after an agonizing two hours. Picking the bear took five minutes. The rest of the time was spent getting Buttercup settled. She needed a birth certificate, a little cardboard house, a blanket, and, apparently, a whole personality before Cadence was willing to leave. By the time we walked out, I knew Buttercup liked grilled cheese and wasn’t allowed to sleep alone.
“I didn’t mean to offend you,” Skye said in my ear, fake-wounded.
“I’m fucking with you, Skye.” I dropped my voice, so Cadence wouldn’t catch the word. “Does she need anything before she crashes?”
I was still learning everything I’d missed and everything I didn’t know. I just wasn’t living there anymore. I only had room for what was in front of me now.
“She’ll probably nap soon,” Skye said. “No outside without sunscreen, no bubbles, no chalk on the sidewalk or I’ll be receiving another damn letter from the HOA. Other than that, have fun, baby daddy.”
“Be cool. I’ll see you when you get in.”
“Don’t wait up. It’ll be late. This layover is taking longer than normal.”
Skye had decided to get back to work. I respected it. She’d always had a hustle about her, even back when she had every reason to let me carry the load and chose not to.
“What’s late, Skye?”
“Late, Ducane. I’m fine. I’ve been doing this for years.”
“I hear you. But not with me, you’re not.” I leaned back.
“Ducane.” A breath. “What does that mean?”
