He wanted to believe. He wanted to pull Landen closer, keep him right there, kiss him until neither of them could think. He wanted to let Landen tear him apart and put him back together and make him forget everything.
But he couldn't.
He refused to be stupid again. Refused to let himself fall only to be shattered. Refused to be the punchline in someone else's joke one more time.
Landen stepped even closer. There was no space left between them now. His forehead came down to rest against Adriel's, the warmth of him, the closeness, the familiar scent that Adriel had dreamed about for three endless nights. It was almost unbearable.
"No," Landen said. "Listen to me. No. I have never and will never be embarrassed of you."
Adriel's eyes closed. The tears kept coming, sliding down his cheeks, catching in the corners of his mouth.
"I was trying to protect you." Landen's thumbs kept moving, gentle against his skin. "I didn't want anyone to say anything bad, or think anything bad about you being with me whileworking for me. That's all. I didn't want you to get hurt by office gossip."
A pause. Landen's breath was warm against his face.
"But if you want, I will tell everyone."
Adriel's eyes opened. Landen was looking at him. His eyes were red-rimmed, desperate, but there was something else there too.
"I want to tell everyone," Landen continued. "I want to shout it from the rooftops that you are mine. That I love you."
His hands tightened slightly on Adriel's face.
"I will send an email to the entire company professing my love for you if that is what you want. I will do it right now, Adriel. I swear to you, I will."
Then he moved. He pulled back just enough to reach for his phone; still in Adriel's hand, limp and forgotten. He took it gently, his fingers brushing against Adriel's, and then he was typing. His thumbs moved across the screen, composing something, his jaw set with a determination that looked like it could move mountains.
Adriel stared at him.
Watched him actually do it. Watched him start to write an email to the entire company, right here, right now, in the middle of Adriel's living room, because Adriel had asked. Because Adriel had doubted. Because Adriel needed proof.
Something in Adriel's chest cracked open.
He reached out. Took the phone from Landen's hands, tossed it aside on the sofa, not caring where it landed. Then he stepped forward. Closed the last inch of space between them. Grabbed Landen by the front of his shirt and pulled him close.
The kiss was desperate. Hungry. Three days of agony poured into a single point of contact, mouths crashing together like they were trying to make up for lost time.
Adriel's lips parted and Landen was there immediately, his tongue sliding in. The taste of him, familiar and right andhome, flooded Adriel's senses and that ugly thing in him broke open. He made a sound against Landen's mouth, something between a sob and a moan, and Landen swallowed it whole.
Their hands moved without coordination, without thought. Adriel's fisted in Landen's shirt, pulling him closer, needing to erase every inch of space between them. Landen's hands were in his hair, on his face, gripping his jaw like he was afraid Adriel might disappear if he let go.
Somewhere in the background, Adriel was dimly aware of movement. Jenna, backing away slowly. Her hand on the doorknob. The soft click of the front door opening and then closing.
The thought flickered through his mind and then was gone, consumed by the heat of Landen's mouth, the press of his body, the overwhelming reality of having him back.
The kiss deepened. Changed. Became more urgent, more desperate.
Landen walked him backward, and Adriel went willingly, blindly, letting himself be moved. His legs hit the edge of the coffee table and he stumbled, but Landen caught him, held him, never breaking the kiss. They staggered together, a tangle of limbs and mouths and hands.
Clothes started coming off.
Adriel didn't know who started it. Didn't care. His hands were under Landen's shirt, pushing it up, needing to feel skin. Landen's were at his waistband, fumbling with buttons, with zippers, with anything that stood between them. They tore at each other like the fabric was the enemy, like every second spent clothed was a second wasted.
Landen's shirt came off first. Then Adriel's. Then they were stumbling again, moving toward the couch, and Landen was sitting and pulling Adriel down with him, dragging him into his lap.
Adriel straddled him. Wrapped his legs around his waist. Sank down onto him and kept kissing him, kept devouring him, because stopping wasn't an option, because three days without this had been three days too long.
Landen's hands were everywhere.
