Unbelievable.
I push faster, my sneakers kicking up moist sand. Usually, a run clears my head. Or helps me battle the thoughts that wrecked my mind. Instead, every step seems to pull me deeperinto thoughts of her. I can’t shake them. Can’t outrun her. And maybe it’s because a part of me doesn’t want to. I can still see Marley tangled up in those white sheets, fast asleep, locs and curls spread across the pillows. I should have stayed in bed. But as I watched her rest, I had to admit something to myself. I am falling in love with this woman.
Just when Ithought I had the shoreline to myself, a figure appears in the distance, jogging toward me.
I keep running, my eyes focused on the person’s dark shirt, broad shoulders, and familiar build. Both of us keep our steady pace along the coast of the ocean, running at the same languid pace. My brows pull together as we get closer, the realization hitting us both at the same time.
Gavin slows first, pulling off his headphones. I’d left mine in the room on purpose, opting to hear the waves roll instead. We are both out of breath, trying to catch our bearings. Gavin bends, hands braced on his knees, head low. I place my hands on my hips, chest heaving.
My cousin finally stands, matching my stance. We say nothing for a beat, the waves filling the silence between us. His eyes soften with something that looks a lot like remorse, guilt sitting heavy across his face. Finally, he says, “O. I’m sorry, man.”
My jaw tightens. For years, I’d wondered when I would hear him say those words. I thought the apology would lessen the pain I felt from his betrayal. And although his words don’t feel meaningless, they do nothing for me right now. I look out at the ocean, swallowing past the knot forming in my throat.
“I know I’m long overdue with that apology,” Gavin continues. “I should’ve said it the moment everything blew up, but you shut me out, and I let my pride get in the way. I know I don’t deserve you being here, but you don’t know how much it means to me.”
“Yeah,” I say weakly. “I’m only here because of Mimi.”
The excuse feels outdated the moment it leaves my mouth. I’ve said the words so many times this week, trying to convince myself. But I know, deep down, she isn’t the only reason I’m here.
“And I know the only reason you asked me to be your best man is for the same reason.”
I don’t miss the hurt in Gavin’s eyes before he looks down at his feet. He looks back up at me, shakes his head, and takes a step closer. “Nah,youmight be here because of Mimi.” His finger jabs into my chest. “But I wanted you here to be my best man. That wasmydecision. I couldn’t see anyone else standing beside me, O. I missed you, for real. It’s been hard without you these past three years.”
His breath catches.
“And after my mom died, it’s been harder.”
I blow out a slow breath before dragging my hand down my sweaty face. Gavin's eyes glisten, but the tears don't fall until I reach out and pull him into a one-armed embrace. His arms tighten around my back as he buries his face against my shoulder.
Time passes before we let go and Gavin catches his bearings. I wipe the tears from my own eyes. Knowing exactly what he’s feeling from having the same experience of my own parents passing away.
“Hey, I’m here now. We’re gonna get through this together,” I tell him and pause briefly. “I missed you too,” I admit quietly. “That’s why this shit hurt so bad.” My jaw clenches. “What youand Carina did was fucked up. And honestly? Her part didn’t even shock me. It was you.”
Gavin drops his gaze.
“We’re all we got,” I continue. “You’re my blood. When your mom took me in, you were more like a brother to me. So tell me why, out of everybody in the world, you crossed that line with a girl that was mine?”
The crash of the waves seems louder, like they are urging him to answer.
“I never intended for any of this to happen. It wasn’t anything like that. It just happened. The more we hung out, the closer we became.”
I think about the times I was too busy. Writing and chasing deadlines. I spent so much time locked away in my office, consumed by my goals, that I’d lose track of time, not realizing I was also losing Carina. Her life was so fast-paced. And I assumed, because her life was as busy as mine, that we’d get together when we could. Meeting somewhere in the middle. But I never made time.
“I wanted to tell you,” Gavin says. “I tried several times, but there was no easy way to say it. I just needed you to know that I never meant for this to happen, and I’m sorry I hurt you, bro. Honest. And I feel selfish for even wanting you here after everything that happened.”
Relief washes over me like the waves on the shore, and I nod. I know Gavin isn’t faking this. There is truth in everything he’s said, and he’s meant it from the heart. He was never one to show his vulnerable side, so this is a lot for him, I know. And it is more than enough for me. And maybe because somewhere between meeting Marley and spending time with her this week, some of the heaviness I walked into Maui with doesn’t feel quite as heavy anymore.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“Even after losing that hundred bucks to Carina because you swore I wouldn’t show up?” I jibe.
Gavin groans and drags a hand over his face. “Bruh…”
We break out in a laugh, the tension dissolving between us. Gavin extends his fist out for our signature dap before wrapping me in a brotherly hug.
“Man, you don’t know how happy I am to have you here.”
“I’m glad I came.”
